


So we hope that tomorrow brings us our butterfly wings

by pseudofoucault333



Category: Angel: the Series
Genre: F/M, Season/Series 05
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-03-01
Updated: 2012-06-03
Packaged: 2017-10-31 22:56:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 28,697
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/349265
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pseudofoucault333/pseuds/pseudofoucault333
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Angel hires Faith as a bodyguard once she is out of jail but when she sees Wesley she finds herself in a spiralling kind of romance she never thought she would be able to experience with anyone let alone a subject of her past. But when it turns to hell more than a slayer can bare can she make herself realise how she really feels for him or will she just resign herself to the fact that it just isn’t possible for a Slayer to be loved before it's too late?</p><p>Written for Jossverse Big Bang '10</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I won't tell you how to live your life so please stay far away from mine

**Author's Note:**

> I thought it about time I start to post some of my works from various fandoms here from LJ. Though if you want to comment on it on LJ please click [here](http://livin-dead69.livejournal.com/104664.html#cutid1). I'd appreciate any comments due to this being my first time posting on AO3 for this fandom. :) Also this is unbeta'd so I apologise for any mistakes made xo

**Title:** So we hope that tomorrow brings us our butterfly wings  
 **Author:** **Rating:** R -NC-17  
 **Pairing:** Faithsley, Faith/Knox, Connor/Dawn  
 **POV:** 3rd  
 **Summary:** Angel hires Faith as a bodyguard once she is out of jail but when she sees Wesley she finds herself in a spiralling kind of romance she never thought she would be able to experience with anyone let alone a subject of her past. But when it turns to hell more than a slayer can bare can she make herself realise how she really feels for him or will she just resign herself to the fact that it just isn’t possible for a Slayer to be loved before it's too late?  
 **Disclaimer:** The whole concept of Angel/Buffy © the awesomeness that is Joss Whedon, don’t sue because the contents of my bank account is only worth about a third of the amount in my beloved home currency so probably next to nothing in US$. Plot mostly based on fiction…i.e not real….but a girl can wish <3 Title © Owl City  
 **Author Notes:** Written for Jossverse_bb. Beta'd by the awesomeness of Pylarwoman :D. Much love and grattitude to my artists Zarajade123 and karahalliwell who are majorly awesome and talented. Comments = love and pwp and E-cookies over the next year or so :D 

The shade of the bars on the cold cement floor was what she had been waking up for the past god knew how long. She’d given up counting after the first five years. It was a sight she’d come to hate since she had turned herself in for the second time. Sure she was used to the slammer but that didn’t mean she had to like it. The only thing she had had to look forward to were the visits from the only person who knew what she was going through having lived through it at least five times himself. Angel had been to visit her once a week since she was first put in there, keeping her up to date with things on the outside not that there was a hell of a lot going. But when he’d come to see her a day early into her first year back after Wesley helped her to break out of Jail, that she’d known there was something in his mind. She had to knock on the glass separating them to get his attention making a small smile on his face.

“Sorry....I must have zoned out.” He sighed, once the handset was pressed back to his ear.

“It’s all good. I thought you were supposed to be coming tomorrow though.” she asked, tilting her head and brushing the loose hair from her ponytail behind her other ear.

“I was scheduled to....but I have to meet with someone else. Though I wanted to hear what you thought of the proposal before I confirmed it.”

“Ok....then what’s the deal?” Faith asked, leaning back in her seat of as much as the phone cord would allow.

“I’ve been offered the chance to take over Wolfram and Hart.” He said softly his gaze falling to the desk.

“What? Have you lost a few brain cells Angel? After everything that they’ve done?!” she yelled causing the vampire to grimace and the brunette slayer to glare at the guard behind her when he gave her a warning look.

“I know....but you have to understand the circumstances have made it very tempting.” He sighed.

“What circumstances?”

“They’ve agreed to help Connor be adopted to parents who can take better care of him than I can. The kind of life that Darla wanted for him when she sacrificed herself.”

“Whoa what’s your boy done that you want to send him away?” Faith asked with a frown.

“It’s not important. He deserves a proper family Faith and they’ll give me that.”

“But you’ll be running the big bad of all time Angel! I thought you were all for redemption not for going back to the dark side?”

“I do....but think about it Faith. I can do more good from the inside than I ever can from the outside.”

“Still, I’m guessing your crew aren’t happy about this?” Faith asked, watching him sigh as he looked down at the graffiti-covered table before him.

“No they aren’t. They want me to shove it back in their faces and for things to be back to the way they used to be. But I can’t do that.”

“Because of Connor? Are you sure you really want to do this?” she asked, hoping there was still an inkling of the vampire that could see where she was coming from.

“I don’t have much choice Faith. Either way I thought you should know,” Angel sighed, pushing himself up from his chair and looking like he wanted to hang up the handset making a sense of desperation burst inside her.

“No wait! Can’t you stay a little longer?” Faith asked, grimacing a little at the vulnerability in her voice. But he’d seen her crying her eyes out and having an emotional breakdown to the point of suicide, this little bit of anxiety was nothing in comparison.

Angel gave her another small smile in response and sat down again. They talked about how the rest of the crew was and the little news he’d heard from Sunnydale. He promised to still pay visits to her despite Wolfram and Hart being in his life even promising to try and get her out with the Wolfram and Hart influence at her next parole hearing but they both knew it was a long shot.

She’d spent the days in her cell afterwards, wondering why Angel was willing to take such a risk and get caught up in some obviously dark stuff. It had been a year since that visit and she hadn’t seen him since. He was always cancelling their meetings, leaving her to try and distract herself however possible but it never helped the gnawing feeling in the pit of her stomach that the law firm had changed him beyond recognition. Until one day a guard said she had a meeting with her lawyer. Inwardly she scoffed since the last time she heard those words had resulted in her busting out with help from a new, improved and not exactly law-abiding Wesley. Regardless she pushed herself off the bed and let them cuff her before leading her towards the lawyer’s cell. 

On the other side of the table sat Gunn, the guy whose name she had adored when last she met him but something about him had changed and it only took her a minute to figure out he was clad in a suit instead of denim or leather and he was rifling through her case file with a confident air that she knew never would have fitted him before. Fuck what the hell was Angel on to try and get this guy to act as her defence?

“Er....Gunn right? What the hell are you doing here?” she asked once she was sat down at the table and the guards had locked the door behind her.

“That’s Charles Gunn and Angel sent me to help your prepare for your parole hearing in a month.” He said stiffly, his gaze never leaving her file. Aside from his suit his tone seemed just as different, no joking around but a forced seriousness. Damn what the hell had Angel done to him?

“Ok _Charles_ Well why the hell didn’t he let me know about this before?” 

“Apparently he did.....before he signed Wolfram and Hart’s contract with his blood.” Charles said turning the pages like he was trying to find something that he could use.

She managed to reach across the table and bang her cuffed hands on the file causing Gunn to raise an eyebrow and the guards around the cell to jump. 

“Tell me what the hell is going on and not the sugar coated version _Charles_.” She hissed.

“Angel’s been getting a few threats and needs a body for hire. He seemed to think you would fit the bill pretty well.”

“But getting a Vampire _slayer_ to protect him is just a little fucked up!”

“Exactly what Wesley and the rest of us have been saying but apparently what Angel says goes. Personally I think he’s just using it an excuse to get you your freedom.”

Faith buried her face in her cuffed hands and sighed.

“If you don’t want to leave the slammer that’s fine but I really doubt that Angel is going to give up on freeing you so easily,” Gunn shrugged, closing the file and shoving it into his briefcase.

“Tell him I won’t be hiring you until I know what I’m getting myself in for at Evil Inc,” Faith called after him as he made his way towards the door to the cell.

“Fine good luck with that.” Gunn called back over his shoulder as he jerked his head to get a guard’s attention. 

The slayer sighed as he pushed herself to her feet once Gunn was gone and let the guard steer her by the cuffs back to her cell.

It was a couple of days before she was called out of her cell again, this time she was led back to the lawyer’s cell to see Angel pacing back and forth restlessly while Wesley sat calmly at the desk with his gaze fixated on the copy of her file, flicking through it with the air of someone who had done such a thing for his entire existence and hadn’t grown out of the habit. So despite the difference in his appearance which seemed to have doubled up the hotness scale it was definitely Wesley under all the stubble and leather.

“Wow, must be my lucky day if I’ve got two visitors at once.” She sighed as she was shoved into her seat and another set of handcuffs clicked between her cuffs and the bar on the table. They obviously didn’t seem to trust her after her last outburst, what she wouldn’t give to break it to them that she could easily get out of them if she wasn’t going for the whole redemption deal.

“Hello Faith.” Wesley said emotionlessly, his gaze not even leaving the file as Angel slid into the seat beside the ex watcher, the lines of agitations etched into his usually perfectly chiselled features.

“Why the hell did you tell Gunn where to shove his legal advice? Do you know how long it took me to convince him?!” The vampire asked, his voice close to a whine which was definitely a new experience.

“Because.....if I’m supposed to be employed by the root of all evil shouldn’t I at least know what my contract and job description entail? Unless you just want me to sign it blindly and seriously I know enough of Wolfram and Hart’s rep to know that isn’t a good idea,” said Faith raising an eyebrow.

Wesley stilled and it took a while for his calloused fingers to stop moving as his gaze moved to Angel.

“You cannot be serious! I thought we agreed that it was a bad idea for a Slayer to be put on the payroll after what happened last time!” he hissed causing Faith to look at the table as her heart jumped at the malice in his voice, like he was still holding a grudge not that she’d blame him. 

The other two occupants of the room got up, chairs scrapping against the floor. She heard them whispering at the other side of the room it was only when the chairs scrapped again that she dared to look up.

Wesley was obviously still not happy at the recent revelation as he didn’t contribute much to the conversation as Angel handed over the paper work his PA had printed off and explained the nitty gritty legal stuff she didn’t understand in laymen’s terms. Finally she signed on the dotted line in the time old Wolfram and Hart tradition of blood but the pin prick was completely healed as they turned to other business. 

She promised to be co-operative the next time that Gunn came to visit and while she still had no idea what possible magic he would be able to work over the committee Angel assured her that Gunn knew his shit when it came to the Law and she’d be free to work and play again soon. 

It was a good couple of weeks of waiting and meetings with Gunn before she was called for her parole hearing. She didn’t remember much of what happened in honesty since Gunn did all the talking and just like Angel said the cuffs were off and she was walking back to freedom, which took a bit of getting used to. Since she’d never exactly lived in Los Angeles properly before she didn’t exactly have anywhere to stay but with her new connection to Wolfram and Hart she was given an apartment in a building that they owned not far from the law firm itself. 

She was given a company credit card for the necessities before her first pay check came through. Of course she appreciated all that Angel had done for her to get her out of that hell hole but now she felt like she was out of her depth big time.

She spent her first few days out of jail walking around downtown LA with her hands stuffed in the battered jeans she was wearing and trying not to think of all the chaos she had caused when she first arrived. The guy she had beat up at the bus station; the fight she got into at the club on her first night in town and all the craziness that followed as she had tried to figure out her plan on making Angel actually acknowledge her. But the more she thought about it and the longer she spent in the valley sitting in coffee shops the one thing she regretted the most wasn’t elbowing Cordelia in the face or trying to kill Angel just for the filthy money that Wolfram and Hart had offered her back then. No the one thing she regretted the most was how she had treated Wesley. 

Ok so admittedly Wesley hadn’t been the badass that she saw when he busted her out of Jail but he had cared enough to save her from the Watcher’s council...something Buffy had tried to do too despite what she did with her boyfriend when their bodies were switched.

The more she thought about the ex watcher the more she seemed to see now what she had done to him had caused the darkness inside him to spread, to make the other side of him appear. Torturing Wesley had been the spark in the chain reaction of things Angel had confided in her about before Wesley pulled her from behind bars. How he’d lost Connor when he was a baby, become the fuck toy of the bitch from Wolfram and Hart and practically been nothing like the wimpy asshole she had known in Sunnydale. Now it was like there was no trace of the old Wesley....but damn if the new Wesley didn’t look good in leather.

After a couple more days of readjusting to her freedom she began to buy the clothes and food she’d need and prepare herself mentally for what Angel was going to be expecting from her. She meditated a fair bit to find her inner slayer core again, trained a little with the punching bag in the corner of the loft and did a bit of patrolling the night before her first day....she just hoped Angel wouldn’t mind her continuing on with that part of her life while she was working for Wolfram and hart. It seemed pointless having a Slayer free if she couldn’t do what she was made to do.

Regardless of her usually calm demeanour when she woke the next morning she was more than a little nervous as she rummaged through her new wardrobe for something that would be comfortable for her training but would undoubtedly still look professional. She ended up settling on a pair of black jeans, a white blouse and a pair of leather boots, shoving sweat pants, a white singlet and a pair of sneakers into her bag. She managed to call a cab while she downed a few pieces of toast for breakfast before going outside the building to wait. Yet as she waited she tried to assure herself that it was going to be fine, but once she walked into the building she knew it was going to be awkward, there was already several death glares piercing her back. Brilliant just what she didn’t need. Enemies on her first day. She’d managed to navigate her way towards Angel’s office where his blonde PA tried to stop her from going in but she might as well have tried to block a bulldozer.

“You can’t go in there! The boss is in a meeting!” She yelled after her as Faith shoved her to one side and threw the doors wide open.

Angel paused in mid word on the phone and beckoned her in with a hand gesture shaking his head at the PA when she finally made an appearance to ask if he wanted security to show Faith out. She nodded and closed the doors as she left. Angel quickly closed the conversation he was having and looked to where she was reclining in one of the chairs on the other side of his desk.

“Wow....some digs you’ve got here Angel. The big boss must pay well.” Faith said, her gaze moving over the modern décor of his office.

“I can’t complain....though I was perfectly fine with how it was before.” He sighed.

“Yeah I can see that.” Faith said, pushing herself out her chair and walking towards the window to look out at the view.

“So....you have any trouble getting used to being out of jail?” he asked, watching her.

“Not so much...it’s taking a while to get used to making my own routine but I’m sure I’ll get there when I’ve got more settled into this job.” The brunette slayer shrugged clasping her hands together behind her back.

“I’m sure you will.” Angel said softly, causing her to look at him over her shoulder and flash him a smile of thanks which he seemed to recognise.

The intercom on his desk buzzed and Angel sighed as he retreated back behind his desk leaving Faith to keep her gaze out the window for a bit longer as he talked to his PA about which ever issue was calling for his attention. Soon she felt Angel’s gaze on her back and turned back to look at him.

“So...you ready to see the others again?” He asked softly as she detoured back to her chair though she nearly froze at the words from his lips. In a way she wasn’t certain she could put up with their reaction, it would be like returning to the Scooby gang after all she did there. Still she didn’t exactly have much of a choice; she couldn’t exactly avoid them forever.

So reluctantly she nodded and a lot sooner than she expected Faith was watching as the rest of the former fang gang that now made up the senior staff members of Wolfram and Hart appeared in the vampire’s office. All except Wesley and Gunn looked surprised at her presence and she was sure that if Cordelia had been there her reaction probably would have been the most hilarious of the bunch. She could feel their eyes looking her over with a mixture of relief and uncertainty.

“Guys...I’m sure you all remember Faith.” 

Angel’s voice cut through the unnerving silence and finally the brunette felt she could breathe in the tense atmosphere.

“She’s going to take over as head of the security and be my new bodyguard.” 

And their gazes swiftly moved back to her...ugh. Perfect.

“Do you really need a body guard Angel? I mean you are a vampire....” Fred said uncertainly, giving Faith a look that screamed ‘no offence’ like she was sure any intended offense could make her jump her.

“Well I can’t exactly watch my back and do this job. I thought Faith would be the best person for the job.” Angel said, though there was a challenging tone in his voice that made the slayer uncomfortable.

“So where do I get started?” Faith asked, hoping to get out the tense atmosphere a lot faster.

“Wesley is going to put you through some drills to check you’re still physically able for the position.”

“Wait....Wes is going to be training me for this gig? Are you sure that’s a good idea?” Faith asked uncertainty now completely taking over.

“Yes. Wesley was a watcher before any other position.” Angel said, a frown on his face like he couldn’t understand her apprehension...or had conveniently forgotten her bout of madness involving her torturing the ex watcher.

“Well...yeah I get that....I guess.” Faith said, giving into Angel’s decision without too much of a fight which really wasn’t like her at all. Then again he was her boss....and she didn’t want to give him a bad impression by arguing with him on her first day....especially in front of the other senior staff.

“That’s settled then. We’ll have our usual formal meeting at lunch...see you then.”

Faith watched the other staff members leave though Wesley lingered to hiss some angry words in the vampire’s ear. Finally Angel gave him a glare that screamed too much of his soulless counterpart for comfort, causing Wesley to sigh and turn to his former charge.

“Come on Faith, there’s a gym on my department’s floor we can use.”

Faith gathered her bag without a word, giving Angel one last look of uncertainty before following the ex watcher out the office.


	2. This reality is much too heavy for me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Angel hires Faith as a bodyguard once she is out of jail but when she sees Wesley she finds herself in a spiralling kind of romance she never thought she would be able to experience with anyone let alone a subject of her past. But when it turns to hell more than a slayer can bare can she make herself realise how she really feels for him or will she just resign herself to the fact that it just isn’t possible for a Slayer to be loved before it's too late?
> 
> Written for Jossverse Big Bang '10

When Wesley had mentioned a gym the brunette had immediately thought he meant a room with shelves of books on the wall with a couple of exercise bikes amongst the several hundred old fashioned desks and chairs, but it was definitely better than she could possibly have imagined.

A large yet clear space sat before her with a wall made completely of glass looking out over the city, the floor covered in padded matts for sparing and definitely useful for practise. A few punching bags were tied up in the corner while the walls were covered in cabinets, a few filled with books, while the others along the length of one wall were filled with weapons the likes of which she’d never seen before. It made the stakes she was used to training with look more like splinters of wood.

“Damn, Wes....why didn’t we have something like this in the ole Hell mouth? Maybe then I would have paid more attention,” the brunette said softly, letting her bag drop from her hand to rest at her feet.

“And undoubtedly used them against everyone you knew,” Wesley supplied, pressing a few buttons on the wall so the punching bags and a few other obstacles dropped from the ceiling.

“Fair point. Ok, so do you guys have a changing room by any chance? Because I’d much rather not ruin my new boots on my first day.”

“Behind the cabinet, next to the door.” Wesley sighed, keeping his back to her as he tried to figure out how to do this whole session without remembering all the bad she had done.

“Thanks...I’ll be back in a sec,” the Slayer called, picking her bag up and throwing it over her shoulder as she disappeared behind the cabinet.

The changing rooms were typically downgraded compared to the gym itself. One large white room with benches following the perimeter of the room and hangers on the wall, a collection of lockers sat beside the entrance and a few shower cubicles, which she knew she was going to make good use of in some way or another. With a sigh of uncertainty she threw her bag on the nearest bench and unbuttoned her blouse, hanging it up as she rummaged through her bag for the singlet. Without a lot of trouble and often making a note to herself to get a locker key from Wesley, she bundled her hair up in a bun and grabbed her bag.

When she appeared the gym seemed completely transformed from when she had entered the changing room. Balance beams led into what looked like an obstacle course and immediately she felt the adrenaline begin to kick in.

“Erm, Wes...where are you?” she asked, throwing her bag to the side and straightening her clothes as she looked for him self-consciously.

“You’ll have to find out.”

“I was afraid you’d say that...Ok, just a sec.” 

The Slayer could hear Wesley’s old poncy voice lecturing her and echoing in her ear as she did a couple of basic stretches, and tried to block it out once she was focused.

“Here it goes...” she murmured, stepping up on to the first balance beam, and immediately a set of real looking spikes swung from the ceiling, causing her to instinctively bend over backwards to avoid getting hit by them. She swallowed as she edged her body forwards in the awkward position as they continued to swing back and forth over head. Finally she reached the end of the beam. Pushing herself upright, she wished she had done a few more stretches as she looked at the next obstacle before her. It looked like a makeshift high wall and immediately she could feel her muscles aching in protest at what she was going to try and do next. After stretching her arms over her shoulders to ease the tension she took a deep breath and approached it, finding the best place to use for grip as she inched her fingers between them.

Immediately she had to rely on her upper body strength. She needed to keep up a better fitness regime and needed a whole lot more training to get better. 

“Shit!” she cursed as she finally got to the top and pulled herself up. She jumped down and took a breath, staying crouched to let the impact flow through her muscles and nerves while a handful of knives flew over her head.

The rest of the course seemed to flash by in a blur of actions that had her muscles aching even more than before. After what felt like an eternity she reached the end, where Wesley was standing with a punching bag and a stake in his hand, which he offered her. 

“Thank god...I forgot how exhausting all this training was.” She sighed, taking the stake and stabbing it into the punching bag a few times to get her frustration out.

“Well, you got this far so you’re not completely out of shape, though you may need a bit of a reminder when it comes to weapons.”

“Not arguing with you there.” 

“Ok, take five while I write this up for Angel,” Wesley said with a small smile, sinking down on a bench and scribbling away on a clipboard.

Faith threw the stake to one side and let herself flop back on to the mat behind her, watching Wesley write.

“So will you be helping with all my training or just washing your hands of me once this is over?” she asked, watching him pause in mid word, although he kept his gaze on the paper as a hesitant expression settled on his features.

“I’m not sure....though if Angel had his way I bet I’d be helping you with it all....but I do have another role here....”

“It’s fine....I’m a Slayer...I’ll work something out,” she said with a small smile, though she was surprised at the way her heart seemed to sink at his words.

“I’m sure you will....” Wesley said softly with a smile that didn’t reach his eyes, sending a chill through the Slayer’s spine.

A silence fell over them and soon Wesley had to set the clipboard back on the bench as he got up.

“Think you can handle a bit of spurring?” he asked, raising an eyebrow.

Faith grinned and jumped back up to her feet before him.

“Bring it on.”  
~~~~~  
A couple of hours later, and after a long shower, Faith found herself sitting at a big table in what she could only describe as a conference room with the rest of the old fang gang around her, chowing down on Chinese, aside from Angel who was just fixated on all the reports that had been pushed in front of his face. Wesley was sitting on one side of her and Fred on the other, the latter of whom was talking to the green demon she knew as Lorne. It was strange just soaking in the atmosphere and letting all the words they were saying soak in. 

It might have been the nerves or the fact that Wesley was sitting so close to her at the table, but she ended up just picking at her container of egg fried rice and sweet and sour pork, only taking the odd bite when she was sure the others weren’t watching. Admittedly it was probably irrational to not like the thought of people watching her eat. Hell, it was impossible not to be stared at while in jail but maybe that was just something that was going to be hard to get rid of. She was so deep in her thoughts that for a moment she didn’t even hear what was being discussed around her. If Angel knew he didn’t push to get her involved and she was definitely grateful for that. For now she just wanted to get used to her role before she was pushed in the deep end in every way possible. 

Finally everyone began to disappear back to their departments, Wesley leading her back towards the gym to test her reflexes a bit more and introduce her to the weapon which was going to become her best friend as a bodyguard, a Guncrafter Industries Model No. 1 handgun. He got called to his office by his PA, a green-eyed brunette called Carina, who obviously didn’t know the difference between a belt and a skirt from the looks of her outfit, leaving Faith to look around the rest of the building once she had showered and changed back to her other clothes. None of the former fang gang really welcomed her presence apart from Fred, the only girl she knew in the club who had been dumped by Charles for a reason unknown to the Slayer.

“So what exactly do you do here, Fred?” the Slayer asked, hoisting herself up on a counter as the other woman supervised two lackeys carrying in a couple of crates.

“Promise not to tell?” she whispered.

“Sure...I probably won’t even understand it anyway.” Faith shrugged.

“I still don’t have much of an idea.” 

A grin spread over Faith’s face at the knowledge she wasn’t the only one lost when it came to her job description. 

“She’s being modest...I’m sure she has some idea,” a sly male voice said flirtatiously, causing Fred to blush but shake her head.

“Faith, this is Knox....my second in charge. Knox, this is Faith...the new Head of Security.”

Faith bit her lip shyly as their gazes met and saw a spark of interest in his eyes, definitely a good sign of things to come. Nothing would make her feel more alive and finally free than having some guy to fuck.

“Nice to meet you, Knox,” she finally made herself say softly.

“It’s a pleasure Faith.” He grinned.

“I’d best get back to work....” Fred smiled knowingly between the two before approaching a work bench where two lackeys were dissecting a purple skinned figure. 

“She’s not exactly subtle, is she?” Faith asked, raising an eyebrow as she edged closer toward the male.

“Compared to the others in this building, she’s as subtle as they come. Then again I have been flirting with her since she got here...maybe she’s hoping I’ll give it up finally and direct my attention to you.” Knox shrugged.

“Well, worse things have happened I’m sure.” The Slayer smiled twirling a strand of hair around her finger.

“Definitely...feel like going out for a congratulatory drink after work? I know a great place not far from here...” Knox asked, resting his hands on her waist to guide her back as two lackeys rushed past them to an experiment that definitely looked like it was going wrong.

“Sounds like a plan...Meet you in the foyer at six?” Faith asked, biting her lip and edging closer so their lips were in a close proximity when the two lackeys called out to Knox.

“I’d better go and sort out the mess they’ve made. But I’ll see you then.” Knox smiled, before disappearing towards the sound of anxious voices, leaving the Slayer to see her way out.


	3. Meet me at the end of the world

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Angel hires Faith as a bodyguard once she is out of jail but when she sees Wesley she finds herself in a spiralling kind of romance she never thought she would be able to experience with anyone let alone a subject of her past. But when it turns to hell more than a slayer can bare can she make herself realise how she really feels for him or will she just resign herself to the fact that it just isn’t possible for a Slayer to be loved before it's too late?
> 
> Written for Jossverse Big Bang '10

Faith retreated to Angel’s office, having no clue where her own was yet, and though he seemed to be in the middle of talking to an important client he merely gestured for her to wait in his apartment...while he most likely pawned them off on someone else. By the time he’d appeared she’d poured herself a drink and settled on his couch, but the look on his face made her smile slyly.

“Still not used to the whole boss of the Big Bad gig, huh?” she asked, watching him flop into a chair while taking a sip of her drink.

“Not so much,..but it’ll take some time to be perfectly comfortable I guess.” Angel sighed, casting his gaze to her. “So how’s your first day been?”

“Pretty good....Got back into the old training routine, made a good friend in Fred and have a date with one of her staff down in the lab.”

“Wow....you don’t waste much time do you, Faith?” Angel asked, raising an eyebrow though the brunette could tell he was restraining the urge to roll his eyes.

“Ok, what is it, Angel? I know you have been trying to push me and Wesley together....why else would you have brought him with you to the jail, let alone made him be the one to train me, aside from his experience?” 

“You’re just paranoid, Faith.”

“No, I’m not. Even Wesley has noticed it, so what aren’t you telling me?” the brunette asked, downing the remainder of her drink and fixing him with a glare that made the vampire look away uncertainly.

“Nothing. I just...remember how you and Wesley acted around each other after bringing me back from Angelus....and how Wesley was kind of mopey when you got put back behind bars. I mean I’ve known Wes a while and when he gets like that, you obviously mean a lot to him. Maybe I was just trying to play matchmaker....” The vampire shrugged, keeping his gaze off her, causing Faith to crack up laughing.

“Look, Angel, don’t get me wrong, ok.....Wes is a great guy and if we didn’t have so much fucked up history, I would gladly be trying to get in his lap. But we do have that history and unless Wes says something or makes his own feelings obvious then I’m not going to try it.”   
The Slayer grinned, putting her empty glass down before hugging her legs to her chest.

“So instead you’re going to go out with a colleague of Fred’s, fuck him into the mattress and pretend nothing happened the morning after when you come in?” Angel asked, the disdain obvious in his voice, causing Faith’s grin to fade.

“I just need someone to make me feel alive after being in jail for so long. There’s nothing wrong with that.” 

“I suppose....I just hope you can handle Wesley’s jealousy the next morning. Anyway...if you’re free I can show you where your office is and I’ll try to arrange a time for you to meet with the rest of the security team, as well as give you the opportunity to interview applicants for your personal assistant,” Angel said, quickly changing the subject like he would much rather not think about what she was going to get up to that night.

Faith flashed him a smile as they both got to their feet and let him lead the way down the hall towards her office. It was a pretty basic room with a desk in the middle facing the doorway, the large blacked out window looking out over the city of Angels obstructing the bright sun and protecting Angel from turning to dust in the process. A few filing cabinets sat along one wall and another door sat amongst them. Faith looked at the vampire for information about it as she sat her bag on the desk.

“That’s the surveillance room...has the feeds from all the cameras in the building leading into it. Previously all the security guards would waltz in and out, and this room would just be like a room for them to socialise in. I thought it would be better this way,” the vampire supplied simply.

“Ok...but what if I need someone to cover for me...”

“You won’t. All the feeds are recorded and saved on the computer system in there. Just make sure to look them over at the end of the day for anything suspicious and send me a report.”

“Sounds like a plan, Boss.”

Angel nodded and was about to leave when Faith bit her lip and called his name, causing him to turn around.

“I just... want to thank you for doing this for me, Angel....both getting me out of jail and giving me the job. I know if it had been under any other circumstances, I’d be in a dead end job and living in a shit hole....so....thanks,” she said with a soft smile.

“Everyone deserves a second chance, Faith....and, believe me, I’m just as glad to have you here.” He smiled before walking out of the room and leaving her to get used to her new office.   
~~~   
Despite the urge in the back of her mind to disappear to her apartment to change before meeting Knox, she knew it would either have her feeling over or under dressed since she had no idea where they were going or completely avoiding going through with her plans after what Angel had said about pushing her and Wesley to admit how much they cared despite their history. So after training a bit more to work out the agitation of seeing Wesley chatting up Little Miss No Skirt while his gaze remained locked with hers she took a long shower and went to the foyer to wait for Knox. He appeared from the lift five minutes later dressed in jeans and a plain shirt, which had probably been hidden under the lab coat when she saw him earlier.

A bright smile lit up his face as she approached him, resting a hand gently on the small of her back as he guided her towards the doors. She felt a pair of eyes following their retreating backs almost as if the owner hated what they saw and yet she could hazard a guess as to who said owner was, causing her to ignore the impulse to look over her shoulder and give him a ‘what?’ look.

In all honesty for the rest of the night she barely told Knox anything about herself and only supplied the barest of questions to get the basics from him when really all she needed to know was his name. But she also knew that if he found out about her history as a murderer, ex con and her supernatural status and the events that surrounded said status in the underworld, it would make him want to fixate on the progress of their relationship slowing down for fear of his life. Not that she could blame him. So she was definitely relieved when he walked her to her apartment and even more so when he didn’t object to coming in for a drink or do anything to stop her when she shoved him up against the wall and corrupted his lips with a deep kiss.

His fingers raked through her hair, keeping her face close to his even when he was catching his breath and their gazes locking like he wanted to make sure that she wanted this before it went any further. Which was sweet but she would definitely make sure he knew if she wasn’t going to let him get his way. She caught his lips in another kiss to assure him that he had nothing to worry about and tried to stop herself from thinking of Wesley, of how his lips would taste, how his stubble would be scrapping against the soft skin of her cheek or how he would probably be taking complete control. Yet in the back of her mind she could still feel his gaze burning into her back and see his stormy blue eyes darkening slightly as they were sparring. She let Knox distract her by toying with her tongue and digging his teeth into her lip, pulling her from her thoughts before she listened to that little voice in the back of her head that screamed don’t do it!

Her hand moved from where it was resting on his hip to encircle his wrist and she led the way to her room. She managed to unbutton his shirt in record time before she pushed him on to the bed and stripped herself equally fast. He got rid of the rest of his clothing, his gaze moving over her curves like he wanted to treasure the sight, and she wished she felt the same. He wasn’t exactly the most well built of the guys she had met and fucked, or the most charismatic if she was honest with herself, but the way his hands rested on the small of her back as she straddled him, cradling her close to him as he rolled them over assured her he was definitely the kind of lover she needed that night. Someone that could make her feel wanted and cared for after all those months of being in a lonely cell. She bucked her body up once he was above her, grinding her hips against him as his teeth nipped and sucked at the skin of her neck, leaving a bruise which she knew was going to be hard to get rid of. But that was the last thing on her mind as a groan was pulled from her throat at the action, so much more pleasurable than the last guy who’d been near her neck and tried to suck her dry. It seemed to make any nerves or few remaining doubts in the back of his mind leave him as his lips detoured along her jaw line before straying to her collarbone and following an eager trail down between her breasts making her back arch for more contact and her eyes close to indulge in how good it felt. As he slid her legs around his waist and as his lips sucked at her neck, the feeling of him thrusting inside her felt like the best version of relief she could ever have asked for, reminding her how alive she really was. Her hand guided his lips from her neck up to her lips, teasing them in a cruel yet demanding manner as he continued to enter her, the pace getting more and more intense by the second to the point where she knew she wasn’t going to be able to last for much longer. She felt the familiar buzz running through her body as the afterglow began to set into her exhausted mind, yet it didn’t stop her noticing the sound of Knox groaning her name into the crook of her neck as he finally came. 

She watched through half lidded eyes as he rolled off her, leaving her to move closer to him for the much needed feel of his skin against hers. His arm wrapped around her, bringing her closer to him as he pressed a kiss to her forehead which was just enough to ensure she fell asleep. 

The next morning it was strange to wake up to the feeling of someone’s body under hers, someone’s fingers running through her hair and someone else’s heart racing against her ear. It took a while for her to make herself open her eyes and stare at the skin that her fingers were following. It was only when she felt a kiss to her head that she managed to persuade her body to move so she could meet the caring brown eyes of the man sharing her bed, trying to silence the disappointment in the pit of her stomach when they weren’t the stormy blue she would have preferred. She pushed a smile on to her lips as she pressed a kiss to his lips.

“I should probably be getting dressed. Fred’ll be expecting me at the lab soon,” Knox murmured, brushing her hair out her face.

“I’m sure she’ll understand if you’re a bit late.” Faith smiled, resting a hand on his cheek to guide his lips back to hers.

“Maybe....I’ll go warm up the shower anyway if you don’t mind?” He smiled in return, pressing another kiss to her lips before letting her roll onto her side.

“Go ahead. I might even join you.” Faith grinned, raising an eyebrow as he slid off the bed.

He gave her a mischievous wink before padding towards the bathroom leaving her to stare at the ceiling. As she was going to get up and join him, she heard the sound of a cell phone buzzing against the dresser beside her. Reluctantly she picked it up, sighing when she saw Angel’s name flashing on the screen.

“Hi, Angel...what’s the deal, I thought I wasn’t due in till nine?”

“You aren’t, but I need to give you a quick brief about an event I’m going to need you to cover me with today.” The vampire sounded slightly on edge, causing Faith to sigh.

“Ok, sure....I’ll be along in about half an hour...maybe a bit longer.”

“Right...I’ll see you then.”

The Slayer clicked the phone closed as she pushed herself upright and walked towards the bathroom. She just hoped Knox would understand, which was kind of strange. Even though she had been thinking of Wesley every time he’d thrust into her and touched her maybe she knew Knox was more likely to be kept around, not to mention he was a whole lot more interested in her than the man she was really interested in and probably gave a shit a whole lot more too. She didn’t realise that she had been staring until he called her name, his voice muffled by the sound of the running water.

“Hey, you coming in?” he asked, pushing the door open a little.

Despite the part of her that said she didn’t have time and Angel was counting on her, she knew she needed this small show of intimacy to assure her she wasn’t alone in the world of Wolfram and Hart.

She let the sheets drop to the ground and opened the door a little wider so she could slide in. His lips were back on her neck as soon as the door was closed and the water hit her hair, causing a chill to run through her. God, Knox was good.

She let him back her up against the cold tiled wall, his lips catching hers and practically dragging the breath from her lungs as his hand traced the curves of her waist. Her legs curled around his waist, the fingers of one hand resting on the edge of the shower door to keep her balance. His lips grazed against her chest softly as he guided her into the perfect position before thrusting inside her causing a groan complete with his name to be pulled from her lips, her fingers quickly growing numb on the top of the door as all that seemed to matter was the feeling of the pleasure flowing through her veins, her head rested back against the wall with her eyes sliding closed, letting him work her body like it was a toy with his name on it. 

Finally he came and her own seemed to follow in her own euphoric state, leaving her to steadily come back to her senses as he put her back down on the ground. She rested a hand against the wall to help her keep her balance, though by then his fingers were massaging shampoo into her scalp and his lips were brushing against the nape of her neck. She managed to grab the soap in slack fingers and brush it over her body, which was then she remembered she’d told Angel she would be there as soon as possible.

Reluctantly she turned around to meet Knox’s face, pressing a kiss to his lips.

“Let me guess....Angel needs you to go in?” he asked with a smile as he brushed strands of wet hair out of her eyes.

“Unfortunately. Sorry.”

“It’s fine....Just let me finish and then I can walk you to work,” he whispered softly in her ear, pressing a kiss against the back of her ear lobe, causing a chill to run through her whole body.


	4. I can be the poison and you'll be the cure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Angel hires Faith as a bodyguard once she is out of jail but when she sees Wesley she finds herself in a spiralling kind of romance she never thought she would be able to experience with anyone let alone a subject of her past. But when it turns to hell more than a slayer can bare can she make herself realise how she really feels for him or will she just resign herself to the fact that it just isn’t possible for a Slayer to be loved before it's too late?
> 
> Written for Jossverse Big Bang '10

By the time she got to the office she’d already made Knox promise to come over again that night, alcohol being an optional aspect. She was making her way to her own office before going to Angel’s. She was setting her bag on her desk she felt a presence in the doorway as she checked her reflection in the blacked out window beside her desk.

“Yes, can I help you with something, Wes?” she asked, when she finally dared to look at the ex Watcher. He didn’t seem in the least bit happy; his arms were crossed over his chest in a closed off manner and his eyes were narrowed. 

“You can tell me what you and Knox got up to last night,” Wesley said, his voice shaking either with possessiveness or irritation, it was hard to tell.

“I don’t see how it’s any of your business what I got up to last night....or who I got up to it with....now if you don’t mind I need to be briefed about my first job.” Faith sighed, raising an eyebrow as she approached him, hoping he would move so she could leave the office without doing something drastic.

“It is my business....you are my business, Faith. Have been since I got assigned to you and still are now.”

“But you aren’t my Watcher anymore, Wes. So you helped me regain my training skills...it doesn’t make you my Watcher, my friend or my overly possessiveness none existent ex boyfriend. So drop it and move before I make you move,” the brunette snapped, tilting her head to let him know how serious she was.

He opened his mouth like he was going to say something else when Angel’s voice broke up the conversation before he could say a word.

“Ah, there you are, Faith, I was wondering....what....was....keeping....you. Is everything ok here...?” the vampire asked, looking between the two.

“Absolutely....I was just coming to find you after shoving Wesley out of my way and leaving him with a broken nose,” said Faith, flashing Angel a smile though the vampire could easily see through it.

“Er....Wesley, aren’t you supposed to be looking up some texts for me?” Angel asked, turning his attention to the Englishman, who pursed his lips, gave Faith a look that said ‘this isn’t over’ before stalking down the hall to his own office.

“So....you want to do this here or your office?” Faith asked, acting as though Wesley’s behaviour hadn’t bothered her.

“Here should be fine....what was that all about?” Angel asked, closing the door behind him as Faith retreated to her desk.

“He was just trying to pry about what me and Knox got up to last night. A bit overly obsessive don’t you think?” Faith shrugged, sinking into her chair as Angel sorted through some papers he was holding.

“Hmmm...then again I did warn you about his feelings for you...he was obviously going to become jealous if he found out you were with some other guy.” Angel sighed, sinking into a chair on the other side of the desk after handing her one set of the papers.

“Um hm....enough about Wes’ caveman behaviour, what’s this?” Faith asked, tapping her index finger against her lips as she looked the paperwork over.

“Your first assignment,” Angel said simply.

“Yeah, I get that, but why do I have a college schedule here and a dorm address I’ve never heard of....unless there’s something you aren’t telling me.” Faith frowned, casting the vampire a worrying look.

“No...this isn’t technically a job for me, It’s about Connor,” Angel said, looking down at his own set of paperwork to avoid her gaze.

“What? But I thought he was all happy and normal with some family somewhere....why are you still keeping tabs on him?” Faith asked, crossing her arms as she leaned back in her chair.

“He is....only he started college last year and his parents are a bit worried. His grades are low....he’s hardly answering their calls...they’re worried he’s got himself involved in some kind of trouble.”

“You mean, the Big Bad kind of trouble?” 

“I can’t see why....I mean he’s a normal kid, he wouldn’t be stalking the streets of LA for vampires to kill....but I promised them I’d get someone to trail him for a while to make sure,” Angel said reluctantly.

“Hmmm....but he is kind of the son of two vampires, Angel...whether he has his memories changed or not. His blood is that of a fighter and nothing is going to suppress that impulse, not even meddling parents.” 

“I know....but just to be safe....follow him for a week? See where he’s going if it’s not class...and give me something basic I can tell them.”

“I really hate that you hired me just for this one job, Angel.” Faith sighed, rubbing the bridge of her nose out of irritation.

“I know....all your others won’t be fixated on him...I promise.”

Faith bit her lip as she looked over the rest of the information, Angel’s gaze burning into her forehead as he waited for her answer. Her Slayer senses weren’t going crazy at any of the information before her....nothing stood out to suggest he was in a cult or involved or possessed by any demon of some kind; it would be a waste of time if she followed him only to find out he was an alcoholic, drug addict or, god forbid, had a secret girlfriend he hadn’t told Ma and Pa about. Still....Angel was her boss now and she couldn’t exactly say no to him. He was the one holding her pay check after all. 

“Ok, fine. Starting tomorrow I’ll follow him about. But I swear if this is a waste of time you owe me.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.” Angel smiled, getting to his feet and backing towards the door. 

“Call me if you need me for anything else, yeah?” Faith asked.

“Sure....I’ll leave you to check the security feed for the day and then come to my office. I have a conference I’ll need to be holding on the firm’s behalf after some incident with a client breaking out of prison. They only continue to make things harder for themselves.” The vampire sighed.

“No probs, Boss.” She smiled, watching him leave the room before throwing the file on to her desk and sighing.

No matter how hard Angel tried to justify his reason to keep tabs on Connor she knew there was still a part of him, a pretty big part at that, that was always going to be Connor’s Dad. He was always going to feel responsible if something went wrong for the boy, no matter how old he was; it was how Angel was built after all those years of trying to make up for all the bad things he’d done as his soulless counterpart. Still she couldn’t help but wonder if maybe it would be better for him to just let the new set of parents do all the worrying so he could move on. That was the reason he’d signed Wolfram and Hart’s contract after all. But maybe it was easier for some people than others to let their problems go, especially when a child was involved.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The rest of the day was a bore; she became Angel’s shadow while he lectured to the press about how Wolfram and Hart wasn’t responsible for the escape of their client and would never condone that kind of action. Then she managed to avoid Wesley for the most part by hiding in the surveillance room, but after a while her attention began to waver, fixating on the screens in the lab where Knox and Fred would flit around, supervising and partaking in experiments. She managed to stick it out for a few hours till her itch got too hard to ignore and she found herself changed and in the gym doing some Tai Chi on one matt facing out the window. 

“Wes, I’m not in the mood to fight with you again.” Faith sighed, feeling his gaze boring into her back again as she kept her eyes closed and pushed her hand in front of her.

“Well, I’d say it’s justified...you don’t tell me what you and Knox....”

“I told you before, me and Knox fucking is none of your goddamned business!” she said irritably as his footsteps approached her.

“And I told you otherwise.”

“I’m not your property, Wes, and I don’t have to take this from you. I was serious when I said I’d break your nose.”

“I don’t doubt it. After all the other ways you’ve hurt me it was only a matter of time really.”

The Slayer sighed at his attempt at emotional blackmail. It was low even for him.

“And I thought we were honestly past all that crap.”

“I wouldn’t go that far.”

“Look, I needed someone who doesn’t know about my fucked past and damned Slayer calling, ok? Someone who wants me because I’m a pretty face not because I’m so strong I can break his ribs or shove him into a wall so hard he can’t walk. And that isn’t you, Wes....You will always know about the old me and that will always affect how you see me.”

“I wouldn’t be so sure about that....”

His hands soon rested on her waist, stilling her movements and making her reluctantly open her eyes and look at their reflection in the window.

“But if I recall correctly.....you have a rather attractive short skirted secretary who you’ve been giving the eye up.”

“True....but she’s my secretary, Faith, and nothing will happen there while she’s engaged to Lee from Gunn’s team,” he murmured, into her neck, causing chills up and down her spine.

“I guess....”

“You, on the other hand, I can’t keep my eyes off whenever you’re around.”

Despite the side of her that wanted to give in, to let him get his way and kiss her or whatever else he had in mind, she was still with Knox. Maybe not officially, but she wasn’t going to jump into bed with Wesley at that moment. Best to let them have the much needed air and if he was still up for it and she was single then she’d give it a go. 

“I should probably go, Wes ....I have to meet Knox at the lab....and have an early night before my first assignment tomorrow...”

It was a lie of course, but staying in Wesley’s presence for much longer would only make her give in sooner than either of them were ready for. No, she tried to assure herself....it was better this way. Until they were both sure that they were in a good enough sense of mind to be together under the right circumstances...whatever the right circumstances could be for the girl who tortured him and the man who obviously had developed a masochist streak while she was behind bars.


	5. Does the heart grow fonder when I wait here on ya?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Angel hires Faith as a bodyguard once she is out of jail but when she sees Wesley she finds herself in a spiralling kind of romance she never thought she would be able to experience with anyone let alone a subject of her past. But when it turns to hell more than a slayer can bare can she make herself realise how she really feels for him or will she just resign herself to the fact that it just isn’t possible for a Slayer to be loved before it's too late?
> 
> Written for Jossverse Big Bang '10

The first day that she spent following Connor around wasn’t exactly the most fruitful or thrilling that Faith had ever experienced in her life, behind bars or free. She got chatted up by numerous college students who all seemed to think that she was a student, which, while it told her she was doing a good job mixing into the crowd, also got tiring when she had to tell them over and over again that she wasn’t interested in them in any way, shape or form. She did manage to find Connor a few times amongst the crowd while she was shoving phone numbers into the pockets of her jeans, but he was usually reading or dodging from one cafe to another like he was trying to keep up with those around him. But from what she could tell of his schedule she could tell why Angel and his adopted parents were worried. He never went to any of his classes, but in a way it seemed like he was hanging around, waiting for a certain someone who never turned up.

Who that someone was she didn’t get to find out until the second day while she was in the student book shop, pretending to browse amongst the Chemistry textbooks while Connor was tagging along with his flatmate.

“I just don’t get girls, Kris...” he sighed as he leaned against the book shelf while said flatmate looked through the Art History books on display, only half hearing him.

“Join the club.” Kris shrugged, finally picking out a book and flicking to the front page as though to make sure it was the right edition.

“But it’s like....last week we were just fine, getting along great and now she doesn’t return my calls....my emails....my texts..and then she stands me up yesterday Did I do something I don’t remember at Leo’s party?” Connor asked, biting his lip.

“Maybe she’s realised she can do much better,” Kris teased, sticking his tongue out as he put the book under his arm and moved down the shelf for another one.

“I’m serious, Kris....it isn’t like her.”

“Maybe D just needed a little breathing room. You have to admit you do crowd her a little.” Kris sighed, crouching down a little to pick another book.

“I can’t help it if I want to be around her all the time. I mean, something just draws me to her, to the point where if I’m not around her I’m worrying about her.”

“Which would be all well and good if you were MARRIED. But you two have only been going out for a few semesters...give her a chance already.” 

“I guess...”

Before he could continue his sentence, Faith watched as his head snapped in the direction of the main door to the bookstore, like a vampire catching the scent of a human, as a young brunette girl appeared, chatting with two blonde friends who were clutching their books for the day.

Something about the girl seemed a bit too familiar for comfort and yet Faith knew if Angel asked who the girl was she was unfortunately going to have to give an answer. She gritted her teeth to restrain her nagging conscience and crouched down to watch through the gap in the shelves as Connor left his flatmate and approached the girls who had moved towards the literature section.

The girls immediately stopped chatting when Connor appeared and the two blondes gave the brunette a look before disappearing to another section, leaving the girl to quickly avoid Connor’s gaze as she moved down the aisle, like she knew he was going to make a scene but would prefer a little bit of privacy.

“Where were you yesterday? I waited for like four hours and you didn’t show up,” Connor asked, and the accusation had disappeared from his tone from when he was speaking with Kris. Instead all Faith could hear was the loved up tone like when Angel had spoke of Buffy all those years before. Whoa....he was smitten alright.

“I know...I should have sent you a message or something but one of my sister’s friends came to check on me while they were in the state, and I couldn’t exactly turn them down or my sister would have put up a big fuss the next time we spoke,” the girl said softly, worrying her lower lip between her teeth as she looked at some non-fiction books.

“Have I done something? Because you haven’t been able to look me in the eye since Leo’s party,” Connor said softly, resting his hand under her chin and making her meet his gaze as she brushed some hair out of her eyes.

“No...you’ve done nothing. It’s....nothing,” the girl said with a weak smile, lacing the fingers of her free hand with his and giving his hand a squeeze.

“Dawn....please tell me what’s going on.”

Faith screwed her eyes shut and sighed. Yep, that was what she had been afraid of. Angel’s son and Buffy’s sister being together in any capacity was definitely not a good idea. Angel would object like hell, and so would Buffy come to that. Damn....the son of two vampires and the Key to another dimension finding each other amongst the several thousand students that made up the student body of Berkeley was definitely fate, if nothing else.

“I will, Connor, I promise. Just not now...me and the girls have a project we need to do for Turkish. I’ll call you tonight, ok?” Dawn whispered, giving his fingers another squeeze as she pressed a soft kiss to his lips before letting go of him.

Faith watched as Connor followed Dawn’s path back to her friends with his eyes, and sighed as she pushed herself upright. This was so something she had prayed she didn’t have to tell Angel.

Regardless of getting the information she knew Angel and Connor’s adopted parents wanted, Faith continued to tail Connor for the rest of the week. The third day Connor was a complete and utter state; his eyes were bloodshot and he hadn’t been as talkative as he had the previous two days. He didn’t leave his dorm at all, missing his classes again, and he’d ignored all Dawn’s attempts to talk to him, like what she had told him the night before was something he wasn’t sure he could forgive no matter how much he loved her. The only question was how she was going to get the missing piece without being discovered.

Faith watched from around the corner as Dawn banged on Connor’s dorm door, calling his name with the sound of tears in her voice that broke the Slayer’s heart. Oh god, what she wouldn’t give to call Buffy and tell her what was going on, so the blonde could give her the comfort she needed.

“Connor, PLEASE! Open the door!” Dawn called, though the tears began to fall and before Faith could stop herself she was approaching the younger girl and pulling her into a tight hug.

“Shhh, Dawnie, it’s ok,” Faith whispered, as the teenager clung to her.

Dawn soon recognised who she was hugging and pulled back, causing Faith to bite her lip like she knew she’d made a big mistake.

“Faith....what are you doing here?” Dawn whispered, giving her an unsure look as Faith led her down the corridor, out of Connor’s ear shot.

“I’m kinda here doing a job for Angel..I just wanted to make sure you were ok,” Faith said softly, hoping Dawn wouldn’t ask why Angel was interested in Connor; she wasn’t sure she could lie to her about something as important as her boyfriend’s heritage.

“Whoa....what does Angel want with Connor? Does Buffy know about me and Connor?” Dawn asked, immediately going a little hysterical, causing Faith to sigh as she steered her to the stairwell and let her sit down before joining her.

“No I haven’t told Buffy about you and Connor....Buffy probably doesn’t even know I’m out of jail, let alone that I’m working for Angel. And to be honest I’d kind of prefer if it stayed that way until I can get the nerve to tell her myself, ok?” Faith asked, giving Dawn a small smile.

Dawn nodded and sighed as she looked down in her lap.

“So how long have you two been going out?” Faith asked softly, nudging Dawn playfully, which got a small smile out of her.

“Close to three semesters,” Dawn said softly, playing with a ring around her finger distractedly.

“That’s a long time.” Faith smiled.

“Yeah. I just don’t think we’ll be reaching the next milestone anytime soon after what’s happened.” Dawn sighed.

“And what’s happened?” Faith asked, trying to ignore the tug at her insides when she noticed the ring on Dawn’s finger was the same ring Buffy had given back to Angel when she was seventeen. While she hadn’t known either Angel or Buffy back then she knew enough about Angel’s heritage to know what it meant. Wow....Connor really was in head over heels.

“I kinda did something really stupid at a party last weekend....I was hoping Connor wouldn’t find out because I know how much it would hurt him. But he was so insistent in finding out why I was avoiding him that I couldn’t not tell him,” Dawn said softly.

“I’m guessing you two are always honest with each other, huh?” Faith asked in an equally soft tone.

“Yeah.....it’s so not like either of us to keep something from the other....I don’t even know what made me be with that other guy in the first place.” Dawn sighed looking down.

“Well, sometimes people do stupid things, Dawnie, no matter how much they care about the person in their life there is always going to be the need to experience things with other people. Believe me, I know,” Faith said with a small smile.

Dawn bit her lip and nodded, flicking through the textbook in her lap absent-mindedly.

“Look, why don’t you go back to your dorm and study for a while....I’ll keep an eye on Connor for a bit longer and then you can try talking to him again tomorrow, ok? Just don’t completely give up on him, Dawn. I know how he really feels about you and nothing is going to make that go away so easily,” Faith said softly.

“Thanks, Faith....” The younger brunette smiled as she got up.

Faith nodded and smiled as she watched Dawn take one more glance in the direction of Connor’s closed dorm room before walking in the opposite direction towards the exit, leaving Faith behind to sigh as she tried to figure out what to do next.

After a few hours of restraining her curiosity and the urge to bash the door down and make herself known, Faith left the building and returned to her apartment, trying to work on her strategy for the couple of days, but there was little that she could do without letting Connor know that he was being followed. Angel would never forgive her if that was the case.

Still, when she did return to campus the next day, hanging around near a few of the cafes like before, she saw that Connor had been coaxed out his dorm and was now letting Dawn try and explain herself.

He didn’t seem to be paying much attention to her, really; he wasn’t looking at her, merely staring at the coffee cup burning the skin of his palms, his brown eyes looking distant and undoubtedly still bloodshot from the day before. Dawn put her hand on his forearm to make him look at her but the only sign that he even felt it was the way he flinched.

After talking a little bit more Dawn pressed a kiss to his cheek and said a few more hushed words, one of which was definitely the three words which came straight from the heart. And then she got to her feet and shouldered her bag, before walking away from him. 

Yet the next day, when Faith was sitting in the exact same place, it seemed like overnight things had been resolved between them. Dawn’s foot was brushing up and down Connor’s shin while one of their hands had the fingers interlaced on the table while the other was rested loosely around their coffee. It was a great feeling to know that things between them were good again, yet she wasn’t sure how long it would last after Connor’s adopted parents – let alone Angel – found out the details of their relationship from her. God, how she hated to be such a snitch.

She spent the weekend in her apartment with Knox trying to get rid of the sense of guilt in the pit of her stomach for when she had to give her report to Angel. She just prayed there was enough humanity in her boss to keep him from becoming so overbearing to the point where he suggested Connor get transferred to another university so he could fixate more on his studies and less on Dawn. But there was no telling that would work. Yet when she voiced these fears aloud to Knox while his arms were wrapped reassuringly around her waist he said just what she was thinking.

“I know you feel guilty, Faith, but at the end of the day, from what you’ve told me, Connor isn’t going to let anything keep him from being with Dawn. Not threats his parents make or being transferred to the other side of the country. Just try not to think about it, ok?” he murmured against the skin of her neck.

“Ok...I guess I’m just an old romantic at heart that’s all.”

“And here was me thinking you were just a strong flirtatious woman.” Knox grinned as he nipped teasingly at her neck.

“Well, there is a heart in this petite frame....I promise,” giggled Faith, rolling on to her side and pressing a kiss to his lips that gradually deepened.

On Monday she appeared earlier than normal, to look through her report and check her email. She found an email from Angel outlining what specifically he wanted to read in the report which helped to edit it a bit. She then managed to email it to his PA to print off before grabbing a coffee and returning to set up for the interviewing of her PA. By the end of the day she had hired an efficient, attractive and slightly snippy student called Claire from UCLA for the mornings and another girl called Miranda with the same attributes who worked at the Starbucks down the street during the day. Angel wasn’t happy at the fact she had employed two people when there was only the need for one but Faith managed to wear him down. It was only when she was training in the gym, alone, since Wesley and his slutty shadow were at the San Francisco branch for a few days, when Angel appeared to ask her about her report on following Connor.

“Faith...”

“Just a sec...” Faith sighed, throwing a few more punches at the punching bag in front of her before stretching her arms above her head and then turning around to look at the vampire. “Ok, what is it?”

“It’s about your report on Connor....are you serious about him dating Dawn....like Buffy’s sister Dawn?” the vampire asked, following her like a puppy as she approached the bench on the wall to grab a towel.

“Everything in my report is true facts, Angel. Your boy has been dating Buffy’s sister Dawn for three semesters, and is head over heels in love with her to the point that he has given her a ring like the one you gave Buffy when she was sixteen.” Faith sighed, using the towel to dab both sides of her love bitten neck before turning to look at him again.

“He’s given her a Claddagh ring?” Angel asked, his disbelief faltering a little.

“The silver ring with the crown, heart and hands? Yeah.” Faith shrugged as Angel nodded.

“So wait....does Buffy even know about their relationship?” Angel asked, sinking down on the bench. 

“From what Dawn has told me she doesn’t know and Dawn would really prefer it if I didn’t tell her....and considering you’re Connor’s father....even if she doesn’t know that.....I can’t say I blame her.” The Slayer sighed, brushing stray pieces of hair from her ponytail behind her ears.

The vampire didn’t say much, just nodded absent-mindedly, causing Faith to bite her lip and let her guilt get the better of her.

“Look....I know you and his parents are worried but....if you could maybe not suggest anything drastic to his parents about moving Connor from Dawn, I think it would definitely be in his best interest.” 

“What makes you think....”

“I know you, Angel....I know that if you had your way you would move Connor to the other side of the country ...or another continent if you could get away with it. But that isn’t going to make Connor fixate on his studies. Dawn will always be his highest priority...like Buffy was for you....and if that means distancing himself from his parents and working a dead end job so he can stay around her then I’m sure he would do it. He was in bits when he found out she had done something with another guy....imagine what he would be like if he found out he couldn’t be around her.” Faith sighed, as she sunk on to the bench beside her boss.

“You think so?” Angel asked with a small smile.

“He is still your flesh and blood, Angel....so put yourself in his shoes and maybe then you’ll understand how much resistance he’ll put up if you try it.”

The vampire nodded with the smile still fixed on his lips before pushing himself upright.

“Thanks, Faith.”

“No problem....it’s what you hired me for,” Faith said with a wink.

“Speaking of hiring....I need you to look into some security for the benefit Wolfram and Hart are going to be holding next weekend. Lorne has all the details. I’ll get him to forward them to you, and I’ll also need your presence at a meeting I’ll be having with the district managers of the other Wolfram and Harts in the country tonight.”

“No problem.”

The vampire flashed her one more restrained smile before leaving the gym with his thoughts. Faith’s smile began to fade as she realised that this job was going to get physically and mentally demanding before she was even ready. Still, there wasn’t exactly any way she could tell Angel that. Biting her bottom lip, Faith gathered her bag and disappeared to shower and change...praying that she was sure she could handle this.


	6. Being the lonely ole muscle...without the trophy boyfriend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Angel hires Faith as a bodyguard once she is out of jail but when she sees Wesley she finds herself in a spiralling kind of romance she never thought she would be able to experience with anyone let alone a subject of her past. But when it turns to hell more than a slayer can bare can she make herself realise how she really feels for him or will she just resign herself to the fact that it just isn’t possible for a Slayer to be loved before it's too late?
> 
> Written for Jossverse Big Bang '10

She spent the rest of her time that day sitting at her desk, looking through the blue prints of the Millennium Biltmore Hotel where the benefit was going to be held for the security points that would need to be covered, the staff list of those who would be on hand and writing an application for the one time staff members she might get away with hiring for that night if Angel understood how under staffed they were. She could already feel a migraine building from all the details but, as much as she would love to bypass the meeting that night, she had promised. Besides, the last thing she wanted to do was let something happen to Angel because an asshole didn’t like his tone of voice or the fact he was about to be sacked out of negligence. She asked Miranda to order a couple more coffees for her so she could to stay alert that night and turned the blue prints upside down for a moment, rubbing the bridge of her nose to try and regain some composure while she wasn’t in the spotlight for a moment. She was about to disappear to the gym to do a quick session of Tai Chi to get rid of the stress when she heard a knock on the door frame. 

“Come on in.” She sighed, raking her fingers through her hair.

“There you are....I was beginning to think you’d done a disappearing act,” Knox said with a smile as he approached her desk, Faith looking up at the sound of his voice.

“Hey...what time is it?” 

“Close to closing time or thereabouts. I was waiting for you in the lobby but got a bit worried when you didn’t turn up,” Knox said softly, leaning against her desk as Faith leaned back in her chair.

“Oh, right...we were gonna do dinner before going back to mine....” The realisation came creeping over Faith and immediately she bit her lip as she looked down.

“Let me guess, work calls?” Knox asked, tilting his head at the look of defeat in her eyes.

“Yeah...I have to supervise a meeting with Angel in a few hours, and I have some other work to do. I’m so sorry....”

“It’s fine....it was just dinner...maybe another night.” 

“Yeah....maybe. Why don’t I make it up to you with coffee tomorrow before work?” Faith smiled, brushing her fingers over the closer of Knox’s hands.

“Sure....the Starbucks down the street, ok?” Knox asked.

“Of course...just make sure to text me about an hour before,” Faith said softly, as Knox bent down to press a kiss to her lips which deepened within a short space of time, leaving Faith breathless when he pulled away.

“Whoa....”

The voice of Angel’s blonde PA broke the moment and caused Faith to give Knox another look of regret which he kissed away with a kiss on her forehead before leaving the office, passing the vampire.

“Yes, Harmony....can I help you with something?” Faith asked, flashing Miranda a smile of thanks when her PA appeared with a holder filled with coffee cups.

“Huh? Oh yeah, right....Angel sent me to remind you about overlooking his meeting with the managers,” Harmony babbled as Miranda passed her through the door back to her own desk.

“Which I was aware of....when do I need to meet him?” Faith asked, downing a mouthful of espresso.

“Half an hour....he’s just finishing up with a client,” Harmony said, sneaking a peek at the clipboard between her manicured nails.

“I’ll be right there....thanks, Harmony.” The brunette sighed, downing another mouthful of coffee before pushing herself up from her seat and grabbing her leather jacket from the back of the chair, leaving the blonde to return to her own office. She managed to steal the last mouthful of coffee from her first cup once the leather was wrapped around her form, before clearing away the work she was doing into her drawer and grabbing the next coffee cup, the key for her office and cell phone as she left the desk.

She managed to talk Miranda into leaving early since she was going to be out of the office anyway, locked her office and began the walk towards Angel’s office. She had downed at least half of her second coffee when Angel’s client brushed past her, murmuring in a language she didn’t understand. She couldn’t make out what he looked like from the black ceremonial robes hiding his form. Angel appeared a few minutes later, looking slightly ruffled, but he managed a smile when he spotted Faith hanging around. 

“Harmony, take all my calls, note down numbers and names and just tell them I’ll call them back tomorrow.....oh and send an email to Radvik’s attorney on Gunn’s team about the meeting I just had with his client.” Angel sighed as he pulled his blazer back around his figure.

“Will do, Boss,” Harmony chirped in a way that made Faith want to smack her....but that could have just been a Slayer thing, it was kind of hard to tell. 

“Lead the way, Boss,” Faith said with a wry smile as she downed the last of her coffee and put the empty cup on the desk in front of Harmony’s face, making the young vampire glare at her.

Angel seemed to notice the look on Harmony’s face but didn’t mention it as he jerked his head in Faith’s direction and led her towards the lift at the end of the hallway. For a moment Faith was sure that they were going to take the lift down to the car park and then go to the rendezvous spot that way. But instead they took the lift to the very top floor of the building, Angel then leading the way into a large conference room with tinted windows that looked out over the city. The table was at present empty of any other occupant but the vampire didn’t seem that worried as he sat at the head of the table, shuffling through some papers Harmony had handed him. Faith took the time to take in the decor of the room around her and to familiarise herself with the plan so she knew the exits if something happened and she needed to get Angel out quickly, but there were only two fire exits that probably led up to the roof and another exit in the form of the lift and stairs that went all the way down to the lobby if they were really desperate. She chewed her lower lip distractedly when she heard a cough and pulled herself back to reality to see the table was now full with other figures she could barely make out due to the low lighting. But from what she could tell they each had their personal assistants with them and were not all of the same species, from Human to Brachen to Howler and Codger demons. Not that she was surprised they weren’t all human, after all, a vampire was the head of the place, but at the same time it was a little unnerving.

The slayer kept her gaze on the wall opposite her as she let Angel and the other occupants talk amongst themselves, though she kept her Slayer senses open in case any impending threat began to build so she could interject before it got ugly. Yet she let her mind slip to other things, from what she could be doing with Knox at some moment in time to the likelihood of Wesley fucking his personal assistant while in San Francisco just to get back at her for being with Knox to begin with. Yet surprisingly enough it was more the thought of Wesley being with someone else that bothered her...in a way, she’d had her chance to be with him, he had given her an opportunity after all, but she had been so sure that she would have another chance if they had the time and space to be sure of their feelings for each other. That she could be with him and he wouldn’t even think of being with anyone else if he was so fixated on her. Or maybe that was all just wishful thinking.

A movement out of the corner of her eye snapped her out of her thoughts and pulled her back to reality, her fingers flexing behind her back as she watched the boss out of two Carnyss demons write something down on before pushing it in the direction of his personal assistant, who nodded and murmured something in his ear. Something about that really didn’t feel right. She chewed her lower lip as her gaze moved back to the wall as Angel’s words passed through her, her consciousness only snapping back to attention when she heard the word suspension. The figure from before jerked up out of his seat, yammering something that made Angel sigh and shake his head.

“Look, from what I’ve seen of your personnel file, you’ve had a lot of warnings before....to add one more without acting accordingly would not show good management on my part. However if you need a reference for another position with another company feel free to contact my personal assistant and I’m sure we can work something out. But for now....I think it’s best you leave this meeting. Faith....” 

Faith turned her gaze to meet the vampire’s, who jerked his head in the direction of the figure.

“If you and your assistant would please let me escort you from the room,” she said, quietly, moving towards the two as his assistant got to his feet. “I would much rather not have to invoke any violence to ensure you follow my boss’ orders.”

She managed to usher the two figures out of the room towards the lift, watching them closely until they were both inside the lift and following the numbers above the doors until they stopped at the lobby, before going back to the conference room.

She returned to her perch behind Angel’s seat, staring back at the wall and trying to keep her mind alert by thinking of the statistics of staff members needed for the benefit next weekend. She only moved again when Angel got to his feet and began to walk out the room, following him back towards the lift.

Once they reached the lobby, Angel flashed her smile of thanks before retreating to his office, probably to do some paperwork that couldn’t wait, leaving Faith to gather together some things from her office and go to her apartment for the night. 

She spent most of the night sitting on her bed with the blue prints before her, trying to figure out if there was anything she had missed while making a list of things she needed to ask Lorne and Angel in the morning. While it wasn’t the same without Knox beside her to help fight away all the darkness that lingered in her subconsciousness, she managed to catch a few hours’ worth of sleep before her alarm pulled her awake with its shrill ring.

~~~~~~~~~~

The next week passed in a flurry of arrangements for security, interviews for casual staff and spending time with Knox after hours, no matter how tired and zombie like she must seem. Still it didn’t stop her from seeing Knox withdraw in on himself, from being more fixated on opening the sarcophagus which had arrived days before. It wasn’t like he talked about it constantly, though maybe if he had she would have been able to realise how unnatural it was. No, most of the time it was like his body was on auto pilot. His kisses weren’t as deep as they had been before, merely a single brush of lips, and when he was fucking her there wasn’t the same level of passion she was used to. Like his mind was still so fixated on the project that nothing else mattered. Then again he hadn’t exactly said he had feelings for her before....and undoubtedly if he had, she would have done a runner before he could so much as proclaim it. It didn’t have to change things between them from how they were to begin with. Yet if he had maybe it would have given her just the excuse she needed to dump him....like part of her had practically been waiting for the opportunity since Wesley had made that pass at her. Still as much as she would love to set Knox free before he turned into a complete and utter workaholic she knew she had to at least appear like she wanted to make things between them work before she finally gave him the out. So the night before the benefit, as she was trying to figure out which of the few dresses in her wardrobe to wear that night, she heard Knox appear from the kitchen with wine glasses in his hands.

“What do you think?” she asked, flashing him a smile over her shoulder which he returned with a weaker version.

“Honestly? Whichever you choose to wear you’ll look gorgeous,” he assured her, pressing a kiss to her cheek as he let her take a glass from him.

“Aww, you flatter me way too much.” She grinned, downing a mouthful of her wine before setting it down on her desk and leading him towards the bed.

“I merely speak the truth,” he said softly, catching her lips in a kiss.

“So...I was thinking....why don’t you come with me to the benefit tomorrow night? I mean, I know I’ll be in work mode and you probably won’t see me much, but maybe we could do something together in a hotel room on a break?” she asked, straddling his lap.

“I’d love to, but I’m going to be doing some work while the lab’s quiet.” He smiled, brushing her hair behind her ears.

“Please, Knox. I’d feel so much better if you were there. Even if it’s just so I can show you off....” she pouted, brushing her lips against his jaw line teasingly.

“I’m not used to being a trophy boyfriend though, Faith.”

“You won’t be. I swear....just think about it some more, ok?” she whispered as she pulled her shirt over her head and let it fall to the ground.

“I don’t think that will be possible when you’re distracting me,” he murmured, letting her suck on his bottom lip until a groan was unmistakably heard from his throat.

“You’ve never complained before.” She pouted, pushing him down on to his back as his hands grazed up and down over her bare skin.

“Trust me....I’m not complaining,” he whispered.

Her lips detoured to neck, sucking and biting as she straddled his lap, causing him to groan, the fingers of his hands tracing the trail of her spine, causing her to whimper in defeat. As he rolled them over and thrust inside her, his pattern as rough and satisfying as ever but just like every other since he changed, it was so obvious his mind wasn’t on it. Her fingers laced into the headboard while her other directed his gaze to meet hers, watching the sparks of lust appearing in the depths of his eyes. She tilted her head to catch his lips as he thrust in particularly harder causing her to groan and arch her back, her fingers tightening around the headboard. It only seemed to take a few of those harder deeper thrusts before the familiar euphoria was distracting her mind again as his lips moved back to her neck, distracting her and abusing the skin in the process. 

It was only as his breathing was gentle and her gaze was fixated back on the couple of dresses she was trying to decide between that she knew somehow she was going to get him to come with her to the benefit.


	7. Emotional or reason, now which one do you obey?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Angel hires Faith as a bodyguard once she is out of jail but when she sees Wesley she finds herself in a spiralling kind of romance she never thought she would be able to experience with anyone let alone a subject of her past. But when it turns to hell more than a slayer can bare can she make herself realise how she really feels for him or will she just resign herself to the fact that it just isn’t possible for a Slayer to be loved before it's too late?
> 
> Written for Jossverse Big Bang '10

The next morning she woke to a call from Lorne asking her to come to the hotel early to help him overlook the set up of security and furniture. It took her a while to realise that Knox was already gone, which was completely unlike him, but it did mean she could leave without feeling guilty, though she did see a note from him on the night stand assuring her he would make the effort to be at the benefit that night, which brought a smile to her face. At least it wouldn’t be a complete bore. She pulled on some jeans and a shirt, making a note to come back and change into her dress a few hours before. She grabbed a few blue prints and notes before quickly grabbing a cab to the hotel. 

It didn’t take long to find Lorne who was stood on a balcony about the ballroom, calling out directions to the lackeys from his department. 

“Oooh, Princess....there you are! I was beginning to think you’d got lost or something.” Lorne smiled as Faith joined him on the balcony.

“Not as such, just the traffic outside was absolutely crazy. So what do you need help with?” the brunette asked flashing him a smile.

“Well, I just wanted you to give me an unbiased opinion about the layout of the ball room and then you can give me the lowdown about how security is going to run, ok?” he asked, gesturing for a couple of lackeys carrying tables to move them to the left.

“I’m not much of an expert when it comes to function layouts though, Lorne.” 

“Doesn’t mean you can’t help me...just tell me...do the tables look good as they are....with individual tables dotted around or should I go for the boring old tables together in a big square?” the demon asked, turning his gaze to her.

“To be honest, I think they look a whole lot better individual...but again I don’t know...”

“Individuals it is. Hey, Merik, move that table on your left another few inches to make room for another table! No, your LEFT!”

“Come find me when you’re done setting up the tables and stuff and I’ll talk to you about the security protocols, Lorne. I’ll be in one of the restaurants grabbing something for lunch.” The Slayer smiled before leaving the organiser to rant to the lackey who had direction issues.

She found herself in the smaller of the restaurants with a coffee, pastry and bagel. She was popping pieces she’d torn off into her mouth as she double checked all her lists when the chair opposite her scrapped across the floor, causing her to take her gaze off the paper and see Wesley sliding into the seat.

He looked a little jet lagged and his clothes were a bit wrinkled like he’d been sleeping in them for the past few hours. The stubble she had come to associate with the ex Watcher was still present over his cheeks but the shade of blue around his irises seemed to be growing darker by the second as their gazes met. Wow, talk about entrancing.

The moment was broken when a waiter appeared to ask Wesley for his order and Faith quickly turned her gaze back to her papers as he ordered an espresso and a few sandwiches in his crisp English accent that sent a chill running up and down her spine.

She downed a mouthful of coffee and tried to ignore how his gaze brushed up and down her figure from the other side of the table, in a way that made her want to just throw in the towel and admit she wanted him just as much. Instead she tried to take the adult approach a little bit longer.

“So how was San Francisco?” she asked softly, popping another piece of bagel into her mouth.

“Pretty boring....I think Angel mostly just sent me there to get some breathing space while making me feel like I was being useful. Kind of a waste, really.” He shrugged, tearing his gaze from her when the waiter appeared with his food.

“Well, at least I managed to get some work done while you were gone.” Faith sighed.

“True...but I’m sure you have to admit you missed me really,” he murmured, causing her to look up and bite her lip as he toyed with the food on his plate absent-mindedly.

“What makes you think that? Maybe I liked not having up-themselves ex Watchers around interrupting me and trying to rile me up so they can get their way.” She shrugged.

“Maybe....or maybe you were thinking the other end of the spectrum. The green eyed end.” Wesley grinned slyly, pushing a sandwich between his lips.

Faith’s gaze immediately looked back to her papers as a blush began to spread over her cheeks, yet she didn’t need to look at Wesley’s face to know his grin had just broadened a little at the lack of denial on her part.

“Then again I probably would be a little green eyed too if I wasn’t getting satisfied by a certain lab lackey who has become a bit too fixated on his work and not enough on you,” Wesley said, like he was trying to appear understanding but was only coming off as smug in the brunette’s mind.

“Whoever said I wasn’t getting satisfied by him?” Faith asked, brushing the crumbs from her jeans and practically glaring at the man opposite her.

“I did. Because I know he’s become _obsessed_ with that sarcophagus they got in the lab. And someone who’s getting it good in bed wouldn’t be eager to focus on something else.” 

“You know _nothing about_ me and Knox.”

“No, I don’t. But I _do_ know that if I was in his position....no artefact on this earth would ever tear my attention away from satisfying myself with you.” Wesley shrugged, picking through the sandwiches on his plate for chicken.

Faith opened her mouth to ask what he would do to assure that they both got satisfied, although she knew it was all a ploy to make her give into him, when Lorne’s assistant appeared, asking her to come with him to brief Lorne about the security for the night. She cast a glance at Wesley who grinned knowingly at her as she gathered her things and got up.

“I’m guessing you’re going to be at the benefit tonight, right?” she asked, trying to keep the eagerness out of her voice as she met his gaze.

“Angel will expect me to be there....and I do want to see what sinful creation you’ll be wearing tonight so I’d say...definitely.” Wesley grinned.

“See you then....” Faith sighed, following Lorne’s assistant out the restaurant, casting a glance over her shoulder at Wesley’s figure. She could definitely tell that tonight was going to be one to remember and not for all the right reasons.

Yet it wasn’t until she had finished briefing Lorne and Angel had agreed to let her go back to her apartment to change early so she could come back to check all the staff were there, that that feeling was amplified. She had just come out the shower and heard the tone for a message on her phone which made a bad feeling build in the pit of her stomach, a bad feeling that turned out to be right. It was Knox cancelling on her at the last minute.

Brilliant, just what she had prayed wouldn’t happen. She clicked the phone closed and sighed as she continued to get dressed for the night ahead; spending a while on her makeup and hair once the black silk of her dress was on her form in the most flattering way. She strapped her gun to her right thigh which would be easiest to hide and stared at herself in the mirror for a second to steady her nerves and assure herself she would be able to keep her professional side on for the remainder of the night. Grabbing her purse and raking a brush through her hair for the last time she left the apartment and returned to the venue where a shaman was working on putting temporary wards around the hotel for the night. Her task force were standing in the lobby, all dressed in formal attire to make them blend in with the crowd, waiting for her to assign them to their positions for the night. She took the list out of her purse and began to direct them to their correct spots...many of which were the balconies around the top, leaving her new second in charge, Rex Manus, to hold the front with a newbie to watch out for Lorne while he was admitting and rejecting people at the front door to the ballroom. 

While the crowd of security disappeared amongst the guests the brunette knew she needed a drink to steady her nerves for the night. Even if it wasn’t completely ethical she was sure Angel would understand. She weaved her way through the crowd to the nearest bar in the lobby and hoisted herself up onto one of the wooden stools at the bar, ordering a straight shot of Jack Daniels and flashing a smile at the bartender as he picked the bottle effortlessly from the display behind him. She was about to pass him the right amount in bills when she saw a fifty dollar bill appear from beside her, causing her to turn and see Wesley sitting beside her, dressed in a more formal and pressed suit than the one he’d been wearing before.

“This is on me. You look like you could use it,” he whispered in her ear before turning his attention to the bar staff and ordering a scotch.

“Thanks,” she whispered, downing the drink in one and closing her eyes as she let the effects of the alcohol flow through her blood stream, wrapping a sense of calm around her nerves, before she dared to open her eyes.

“Feeling better?” Wesley asked softly as he took a sip from his scotch.

“A little....at least I’m not as nervous as before.” She sighed, resting her elbow on the bar and sliding her body to an angle so she could easily get down from the stool, though it seemed like that was just the right action to get Wesley’s attention on her outfit.

“Is that what you’re wearing tonight?” he asked, putting his glass down and following the curves of her dress none too discreetly.

“Pretty much. I don’t really have many overly formal dresses in my wardrobe at the moment.” She shrugged.

“I’m guessing Knox helped you pick it out? To help you entice all the single males in the room.” 

“Actually he didn’t....he isn’t even coming,” she said softly, sliding down from the stool before Wesley could start to gloat about being right.

She made it to the front of ballroom as Angel was appearing from his room for the night in the hotel. He offered her his arm so they could play the part of a couple for the night, so she could keep as close to him as humanly possible, and she gratefully took it as Lorne let them pass, Rex and his partner for the night patting them down quickly for weapons before admitting them inside. 

The room was filled with a fair few human and demon figures, many chatting amongst their own species, though there was definitely a sense of tension in the air, causing Angel to sigh beside her. They reached one of the top tables and Angel pulled out a chair for her before sitting himself.

“I saw you sitting with Wesley before at the bar....everything ok?” the vampire murmured in her ear as Faith put her purse down above her spoon and poured herself some water.

“Fine....he’s been trying to make his move a lot more since he came back from San Francisco....seems to think now more than ever that Knox isn’t a good match for me.” She sighed, giving her boss a small smile.

“And what do you think?” he asked, as he put a napkin in his lap for appearance’s sake only.

“I don’t know. I mean, Knox has been acting really weird since that sarcophagus arrived in the lab....he isn’t acting like himself at all. It’s getting to the point where part of me is actually considering listening to Wesley this time,” she said softly, taking a sip of her water as she crossed her legs beneath the table.

“But you know that Wesley wants you, Faith. He’s going to say anything if it means he gets what he wants. Just be careful, ok?”

She pressed a kiss of thanks on the vampire’s cheek and smiled, letting him turn his attention to the person on his right, the head of another department she hadn’t met before. She leaned back in her seat and bit her lip as she took her cell phone from her purse, sending Knox a quick message to make sure he really wasn’t coming. Though once she clicked the phone closed she saw some of the other former fang gang members, including Wesley, appear at the table. She turned her gaze to the plate in front of her, not even reacting when Wesley switched place cards so he could sit next to her. He talked to Gunn a fair bit beside him about some case he was helping with, though she felt his calloused finger tips brushing up and down the slit in the dress near him. She bit her lip as her body moved according to the feeling of his skin on hers, parting her legs under the table and moving the material of the dress so his fingers moved from her outer to her inner thigh, causing her back to arch in her chair. As his fingers moved closer to the hemline of her underwear she finally managed to gain some common sense and moved one hand under the table, catching his hand by the wrist and guiding it back to her knee. But even then his fingers wouldn’t let hers go, lacing together with her so the palm of her hand was arched, which his thumb took advantage of, brushing the pad of it against the sensitive skin of her palm. It was only when her phone rang with Knox’s reply that she pulled her hand from Wesley’s to open it.

_Sorry, babe...I really wish I could be there. I’ll make it up to you tomorrow night. Promise. XO_

She bit her lip as she clicked the phone closed, crossing her legs under the table and giving Wesley a silent but warning look.

The rest of the night seemed to drag by, sure the food was great and in some way the speeches were inspiring but Wesley’s wandering fingers still kept brushing whatever inch of skin he could reach. It was putting a lot of strain on her willpower but she knew if she was ever going to be with Wesley that night it would be at the end, when she was sure that Angel was safe in his suite, away from all the potential threats that came with his position in the firm. 

Finally the heart of the party seemed to have come and gone; many of the guests were disappearing from the room to other places, whether it was to their homes or to clubs around the city. The heads of the departments seemed to follow suite, leaving Lorne to direct the clean up team and Faith to follow Angel up to his suite in the hotel where he asked for a blacked out car to take them back to the firm in the morning. That left her with some time on her hands, either to go back to her apartment alone and stare at the ceiling as she tried to rehearse a speech to tell Knox the next time she saw him....or she could go to Wesley’s hotel room and call him out on his need to fuck her...which he probably would. Out of the two, she definitely had to say the latter had more appeal.


	8. When temptation can no longer be ignored with a touch of guilt

Straightening up her dress, she took the lift to the floor she knew Wesley was staying on, taking a glance at the number on the card he’d pushed into her hand before disappearing up to his room. Finally she reached the right room number and swallowed as she knocked on the door. When he appeared, Wesley had already removed his shirt and tie, though a knowing grin appeared on his face at the sight of her.

“I thought you weren’t going to come...I mean, what with your _loyal_ boyfriend and all...” He grinned, though Faith glared at him and quickly pushed his body up against the door frame as she pressed a deep probing kiss to his lips. His hands rested on the small of her back, the fingers of one hand pulling the bottom of her dress up until his fingers were grazing the skin of her back, causing a groan to flow from her lips. When they pulled back to breathe, Wesley pulled her inside and closed the door behind her, before turning his attention back to her.

His lips were back on hers within seconds as his hands steered her body towards his bed, her feet sliding out of the shoes she had been wearing. His fingers moved back to the hemline of the dress, pulling it upright and throwing it to rest on the floor as Faith threw her purse to one side, not carrying where it landed. She let him direct her on to the bed, their lips remaining together and her long nails scratching at the bare skin of his back.

Though she would never admit it, the feeling of him being above her was something she had practically craved, and she was subconsciously comparing him and Knox. She knew Wesley was definitely picking up on that vibe because he started upping his game, his teeth sinking into the skin of her like that of the thing he had always been against until he met Angel and sucking like his life depended on it as his fingers traced every curve and every inch of skin he could reach. Yet when he was breathless he pulled back and locked her with those entrancing stormy blue eyes she had always found herself seeking for in a crowd. Now they were transfixed on her and she could feel herself blushing that she was the only one he wanted to look at. His lips were soon claiming hers again, her fingers clasping tightly at the hair on the nape of his neck like she was trying to keep him there. She wanted nothing more than to have him inside her, making her groan and writhe like she had always imagined secretly but refused to admit to.

Soon his fingers traced the outside of her thighs, before pulling them apart and sliding between them, guiding them around his waist like it was the most natural thing ever. The heels of her feet dug into his back and their hips brushed together before he thrust inside her, piercing her very core and causing her to cry out in pleasure more than pain. His fingers laced with hers on the pillow beside her head, his grip on her hand getting tighter with each thrust giving her the equal balance of both the pleasure and the pain to focus on. In a way it was like that was what her body had been craving and he knew it, as she came after another round of thrusts, each as exhilarating as the last with the added pain. Finally her body arched against the mattress as her body rode the thrill of him bringing her to ecstasy in the best way possible....him following not long after, filling her with the essence she had practically ached to have inside her. 

It was only afterwards when Wesley was laid on his back asleep and Faith was staring at the wall that she realised it was a mistake. Ok, admittedly she had known the sexual tension between them was something that couldn’t be ignored while defining them at the same time, but she had never expected that Knox’s rejection from that night would make her do something so stupid...even if it was with the man she had always wanted to be with. She sighed as she rolled over and curled up to Wesley’s sleeping form. She just prayed this wouldn’t backfire when all was said and done.

The next morning she woke to a phone ringing, causing the body her head was on to groan its objection at being woken in such a way.  
“It’s probably for me, Wes...I’ll be back...” She sighed, sliding out from under the covers and picking up a shirt of Wesley’s for modesty and her phone from her purse as she slipped out on to the balcony to answer it.

“Faith.”

“Knox. Hey....what time is it?” the brunette murmured, raking her fingers through her messy hair.

“About eight...I came over to yours to see if you wanted to go out for breakfast....but you’re not here.” 

There was silent question under the statement that immediately seemed to sting but Faith bit her lip as she looked back into the room at Wesley.

“Er...yeah...I had to stay pretty late to help Lorne clean up so I checked myself into a room for the night. I probably should have left you a message or something,” she lied, hoping Knox wouldn’t be able to tell as such. 

“Yeah....you want to meet for lunch or something instead then? Since I’m sure you’ll be busy escorting Angel back to the firm.”

“Yeah...that would be great. The Starbucks down the street, ok?”

“Sure.”

Silence seemed to follow and then the sound of a click as Knox hung up. Oh god, he was pissed. With a sigh, Faith closed the phone and returned inside to see Wesley sitting upright in bed, watching her movements hungrily.

“I’m guessing that was the boyfriend?” he asked as she put the phone to one side and crawled over the bed so she was sitting beside him.

“Yeah....only I think today might be the day we call it quits.” She sighed, straddling Wesley’s lap so her head was rested against his chest.

“You going to tell him what happened?” he asked, unbuttoning his shirt and sliding it off her skin.

“I’d rather not. I don’t want to add salt to the wounds....besides what is there to tell. It’s not like we’re a couple or anything.” The Slayer shrugged as Wesley’s fingers traced the curves of her waist as his lips kissed her tattoo.

“True...still a little honesty might be good on your part since he isn’t being honest with you,” he mused, moving his lips up her arm and over her shoulder.

“Yeah....but what do I say? Sorry, Knox....we should split up because I’ve been using you while waiting for a certain ex Watcher to get his head out his ass?” she said, rolling her eyes irritably as she turned her head to meet his lips.

“How about....something like....As much as I have loved our time together....I think we’re two different people...who just aren’t meant to be,” Wesley murmured against her lips before letting his fingers trace back up over her hips to graze her chest.

“That’s very poetic of you, Wesley.” She sighed, tilting her head back as his fingers nipped and pinched her nipples teasingly.

“I thought so....or you could just say....I’ve fucked Wesley...and I liked it....and he’ll give me the attention you won’t. Either or. As long as when you come to me again at the end of the day he’s out the picture and you have no clothes on you, I’ll be happy.” He smiled.

“I’m sure you would be. Still, I should probably go. I have some stuff to do for Angel...and I need to meet Knox and then apparently I have a date tonight.” Faith smiled, pressing a kiss to his lips as she slid his hands from her skin.

“Not yet you don’t.” Wesley grinned, resting his hands on her waist and rolling them over, curling her legs around his hips and guiding her fingers to curl around the head board before making all her thoughts disappear.

~~~~~~~

A few hours later, after showering and dressing, Faith managed to call for a Wolfram and Hart limo to wait for her and Angel in the underground car park, before going to Angel’s suite to make sure he was awake. He flashed a smile as he followed her out of the room and down the lift to the car park. But once they were in the car, she felt him stiffen.

“Weren’t you wearing that last night?”

“Er, yeah....”

“I’m guessing you didn’t go home then?”

Faith looked down and heard Angel sigh.

“Let me guess....Wesley finally got his way.”

“Hey, you were perfectly happy for me and Wesley to be together when I first came here.”

“You’re right, I was....but Wesley just seems to have changed since then.”

Faith leaned her head back in the seat, only looking back at Angel when he seemed to have relaxed again.

“Look, I’m just worried that you’ll become so involved with Wesley that you’ll change in a bad way...that’s all,” the vampire said softly.

“I promise I’ll be careful, Angel. It’s not like I’m marrying him after one night’s fucking,” the Slayer assured him.

“Just be careful....that’s all I ask.”

“I promise.”

Once they arrived at the firm, Angel went to get bombarded by Harmony and Faith managed to get Claire to cover for her quickly as she went to change at her apartment. She returned not long after to a pile of reports on her desk from the security staff from the night before and a few memos from Harmony about other events Angel was going to need her presence at. A press conference the following day, a crew chasing up a client’s whereabouts in a few hours and also a trip with Wesley the next weekend to retrieve some tablets with old text from the Rome firm. The last one made little sense since she was Angel’s bodyguard not Wesley’s but when she sent a message to Angel asking him as such, he assured her Rex would be able to look after him for one weekend. Something told her Wesley had put in a special request for her presence. That couldn’t be a good sign.

After asking Claire to file away the reports once she had signed them all off she managed to get the student to cover for her she disappeared to meet Knox, the sense of doubt and guilt in the pit of her stomach refusing to leave her as she walked in the door. She ordered a Carmel Macchiato and sat at the booth in the back, sending messages to Wesley asking him why he wanted her to come with him to Rome instead of someone on his own team.

_Why do you think? My team don’t get me nearly as hard as you do. Besides...some Italian sun might do you some good._

_**Well I’m flattered that that’s why you want me with you ;) but I can’t just leave Angel in the lurch like that. I am supposed to be his bodyguard not yours.** _

_But you can cover my body better than Angel’s. It’ll be a chance for us to spend some more time together since this week is going to be pretty busy after today :( I don’t think I’ll be able to see you until the weekend._

_**Awww :( I’ll just have to make the most of tonight then won’t I? ;)** _

_Hmmm, I like the way you think. Anyway, I’d better go...I’m **supposed** to be busy working._

_**I’ll leave you to that then...I think Knox is here anyway....Wish me luck :S xxx** _

_Good luck xoxxx_

She looked up as Knox’s shadow covered the screen of her phone, causing her to flash him an unsure smile as he put her drink and his down on the table between them. She clicked the phone closed and pushed it into the pocket of her jacket as Knox took a sip of his latte.

“I’m so sorry I wasn’t home for you to take me to breakfast,” she apologised softly, shaking some more sugar into her coffee and stirring it in.

“It’s fine...” He sighed, though from the way his gaze didn’t remain on her features she knew it was anything but.

Silence fell over them, aside from the sound of them sipping their coffees or adding more sugar to them. Yet the whole time all Faith could think of were the words Wesley had said that morning. It had to be done. She couldn’t keep leading Knox on when he wasn’t the one she wanted and probably never would be again.

“Look....Knox....” She tried to find her voice and it was like he seemed to curl in on himself, like he knew what was coming and was hoping to protect himself from the impact of her words as much as humanly possible. Yet she knew it was probably still going to hurt just as much. She downed another mouthful of coffee and screwed her eyes closed before finally making herself say it.

“....As much as I have loved our time together....I think we’re two different people...who just aren’t meant to be together.”

She opened her eyes after hearing no sound of objection or pain from him and he was still staring into his cup, nodding softly at her words. Like he agreed but hadn’t been expecting her to be the one to pull the plug.

“I’m so sorry, Knox,” she whispered, pressing a kiss to his cheek as she got to her feet, biting her lip as she left him there so she could try and get over the sense of guilt that refused to go away. She could have told him Wesley was the reason why....it might have made more sense in Knox’s mind. But it would have only hurt him more and that was the last thing she wanted to do to him. Finally she stopped on a bench and sighed as she sent Wesley the message he had probably been waiting for.

 _I’ve done it._

He didn’t reply. It wasn’t like she would have expected him to, but she could practically hear him whooping and jumping up and down like a crazy asshole. But it still wouldn’t get rid of the guilt. She went into the nearest cafe and grabbed another coffee as she took the long way around the block back to the firm so she could avoid bumping into Knox. Claire had managed to keep the department running without her until Miranda took over that afternoon, leaving Faith free to get rid of her pain and guilt in the gym with training. Finally, when her body was aching and her mind practically blank, she sat cross-legged at the bottom of the wall of glass, staring out at the city’s skyline as the sky darkened and the buildings began to light up. She didn’t pay much attention to anything until Wesley appeared at closing time, sitting beside her and resting a hand on her back.

“Hey....you ok?” he asked softly as she rested her cheek on his shoulder.

“Still feeling a bit guilty at being so heartless,” she whispered, causing him to sigh as his arm snaked around her waist, pulling her close and pressing a kiss to her forehead.

“You aren’t heartless, Faith. Anyone heartless wouldn’t be so cut up about hurting someone,” he said softly.

She flashed him a small smile and nodded as she turned her gaze back to the window.

“Come on, let’s get a takeaway and go back to mine, yeah? You promised me a good time,” he whispered, pressing a kiss to her neck before pushing himself to his feet and offering her a hand, which she gratefully took before letting him lead her out of the gym.

They stopped off at the Chinese takeaway across the street from Wesley’s apartment before retreating to his place, Faith curling up on the couch with her head rested on the chair’s arm as Wesley grabbed plates and utensils from the kitchen, the sound of the cutlery clattering barely audible over the sound of her own thoughts. It wasn’t until she had begun this path of redemption that she had begun to feel all this regret and yet it seemed like such a burden that she really didn’t understand how Angel had been able to put up with it for so long. 

She came back to reality to see Wesley offering her a plate of noodles and lemon chicken with a reassuring smile on his face that she quickly tried to reply to with a smaller one of her own as she took the plate and utensils. She picked at the noodles with the utensils and listened to Wesley telling her about his day, about all the translating he had to do for Angel for a conference he was holding next month. She nodded in the right places but really wasn’t feeling this whole thing at all. 

Finally she put her plate on the coffee table and downed a few mouthfuls of the soda Wesley had got her from the fridge when she was lost in her thoughts, trying to come up with some way to tell Wesley she just wanted to go home and sleep off her guilt. In a way it was like he could read it from her body language as he met her gaze.

“If you want to go home...that’s fine,” he whispered softly, pressing a kiss to her cheek as he downed his scotch between mouthfuls of wanton.

“I’m sorry, Wes...” she said weakly, raking her fingers through her hair.

“It’s fine, we’ll just have to make up for it at the weekend....providing you’re coming,” he said, putting his plate down and lacing her fingers with his, his thumb brushing the base of her index finger.

“Sure, I’m coming. Can’t promise I’ll be much fun though.” She sighed, catching his lips in a kiss before getting to her feet.

“I promise you that having you there is going to make this one of the best trips for me,” he whispered, getting up and wrapping his arms around her to bring her closer. 

“I’ll try and be out of my funk by then.” Faith smiled, pressing a kiss to his neck before catching his lips in another kiss and walking towards the door when he let her go.

She flashed him one last weak smile before leaving, hugging herself as she began the walk home. Alone.


	9. Cheating and respect....or lack thereof.

The rest of the week was just like what she had come to expect from Wolfram and Hart, filled with evacuations due to crazy clients and even crazier enemies, with her becoming Angel’s shadow whenever a threat of some kind was made aware to everyone else. Wesley had gone completely off her radar as he became the translator and archivist champion of the team for the moment, helping the retrieval team dig up some artefact she had never heard of before. This usually meant her going home to her empty apartment at the end of the day and looking to the TV for some kind of distraction, whether that meant an old sitcom or a chick flick she had seen one too many times. Anything so she didn’t have to fixate on the fact Wesley wasn’t around to keep her distracted or Knox around to keep her smiling. She hadn’t seen Knox since she dumped him at Starbucks, but there had been lots of rumours going around the building about him being possessed by some demon or being a worshipper of some hell goddess who had him in her power. She tried not to give it a lot of thought but it was hard not to feel responsible for his descent into madness.

And before she knew it she was packing for her trip to Rome the next day after briefing Rex about the importance of looking out for Angel while she was gone. She also gave Claire and Miranda two paid days leave while she was out the country and was relieved when Harmony appeared with her passport and the tickets for her and Wesley...Wesley who was supposed to be meeting her at the airport the next morning. 

She spent the night packing her best clothes, concealing her weapons as good as possible so they’d go through the scanners on the plane with ease. Yet with all the excitement she found it hard to sleep and spent most of the night tossing and turning as she waited for the alarm to go off so she could order her cab. Finally she gave up and assured herself she would sleep on the plane as she ordered the cab, showered and dressed. She managed to make it to LAX early and stood in the queue to get her boarding pass, hoping Wesley would appear before she disappeared through security with his ticket. As she was getting close to the front he appeared and managed to sweet talk his way through the crowd to join her, his arm wrapped around her waist to possibly give those behind them the impression that they were a couple. Faith handed over all the paperwork and let Wesley be the one to do all the talking, putting her luggage up on the scale and watching it disappear behind them once the label was attached to the handles. Wesley scooped up both boarding passes as well as their passports before leading the way towards Security. They passed through the metal detectors and the like without getting stopped and Wesley treated her to a coffee before leading the way towards their gate.

Even with the caffeine in her veins, once they took their seats in business class she finally managed to fall asleep, her head rested on Wesley’s shoulder, which seemed to help make the hours pass by. He woke her when the meals were served though she ate very little before drifting back to sleep. 

Finally they arrived at Rome International Airport where a limo from the Italian branch was waiting for them, the driver putting their entire luggage in the back before driving them towards the hotel they were going to be staying at for the next couple of days. Faith lay on the bed staring at some Italian sitcom while Wesley unpacked some of his suits and made a phone call to the head of the Italian department for a meeting the next day. She curled up on her side and drifted to sleep as the sense of jet lag took her over, feeling Wesley’s arms wrapping around her waist once he turned the lamps off.

The next morning they were woken early by their jet lag and got an early breakfast while trying to make themselves feel the least bit human before they went to the firm. Wesley spent a while getting himself dressed in a pressed suit, only kissing Faith a few times when they were in the limo which screamed to the brunette that something was going on and she was stupid not to have questioned her intuition there a lot more. She followed Wesley into the building, keeping the stance of a bodyguard behind him as he took the lift to the right department’s floor before leading her to the PA’s desk....a rather attractive man in an Armani suit with a tanned complexion who gave Faith the wandering eye as Wesley spoke to him in fluent Italian. The PA disappeared behind a set of doors like the ones Angel hid behind at the LA branch, leaving Faith to merely hover as Wesley looked through his paperwork and straightened his tie. Finally Mr. Armani Suit appeared, followed by a rather attractive looking woman dressed in a well tailored suit and high heels. She turned a beaming smile on to Wesley as they began to chatter in Italian, leaving Faith to merely smile when the woman took a glance at her.

The woman gestured that they follow her into the office, though Wesley stopped Faith before they reached the door.

“Why don’t you just wait outside? I’m sure you’ll get pretty bored since we’ll be speaking in Italian the whole time anyway,” he said softly.

“But I’m here to be your bodyguard, not your sidekick!”

“I know, but protocols are different in Italy, Faith. I swear we won’t be long,” he said, pressing a kiss to her cheek before disappearing inside, the doors closing behind him.

Faith sighed as she raked her fingers through her hair and managed to get the name of the nearest cafe out of the PA. Yet as she sat at the table sipping her espresso and trying not to indulge the jealous side of her for leaving Wesley alone with an attractive woman in the office, the bad feeling in the pit of her stomach continued to grow. Something about this really didn’t feel right at all. 

Two hours and several more espressos later, Wesley sent her a text asking where she was, causing her to roll her eyes as she got up and returned back to the firm’s lobby. 

Wesley had a contented smile on his face when he spotted her. He suggested they go out to dinner, where he spent most of his time yammering on about the tablets like his old nerdy Watcher self while she stared into the depths of her food. She was all set to just go to bed curled up next to Wesley, though as she was looking through her suitcase for something cooler to wear, Wesley was getting a shower in the ensuite. He appeared, dressed in some casual clothes, though an expression crossed his face when he saw her dressing in lingerie, like it wasn’t what he had been planning for the night.

“Er...Faith. What are you doing?”

“What does it look like? I’m getting ready for bed after barely getting enough sleep due to my stupid jet lag.” She sighed, climbing on to the bed though as he bit his lip and raked his fingers through his hair she knew he was going to try and make her change her mind.

“Look, it’s just that I’m supposed to be meeting Allegra here and she promised me a big night so I was kind of hoping you wouldn’t be here...”

“Wait, let me get this straight....you pour on all the sugar to assure me you wanted me on this trip to begin with...but with jet lag and your obvious obsession with your beloved Allegra I might as well not be here. So you know what...fine, if you want to be chatted up by some complete bimbo then that’s your business. But I will be coming back at midnight no matter what your beloved has planned,” she spat, climbing off the bed and sorting through her clothes for something to wear.

“Faith, it’s not like that....”

“Save it, Wesley. I’m doing as you asked....so just go drown yourself in cologne already.” The slayer sighed as she pulled on a pair of jeans, some boots and one of his shirts minus a bra. She put her hair in a bun and grabbed a key card and her wallet before disappearing into the night.

She spent the vast majority of the night lurking around the bars closest to the hotel, downing drinks paid for by many strangers and staring at the sights in the light displays. She sat at the Trevi Fountain and sighed as she watched the clock on her cell phone, waiting for midnight to hit even though she knew there was definitely a good chance she wouldn’t be sleeping in that bed again.

Finally midnight struck and she got to her feet and started the walk back towards the hotel, praying the bad feeling in the pit of her stomach was wrong for once. Though as she was walking down the corridor she could hear the groans and the sound of a bed colliding with the wall enthusiastically and wished that was her. It seemed to get louder as she hovered at the door to her and Wesley’s room. She paused to get the key card out of her pocket, bracing herself for the worst before swiping the card and entering the room. 

Immediately the smell of sex and sweat met her nostrils, the sound of groans and words in Italian echoing in her ear as she approached the bed but if that wasn’t the ice breaker the sight of Wesley thrusting into the Italian bimbo definitely was. The woman seemed to sense her presence before Wesley did, causing her eyes to widen as she caught Faith’s gaze and murmured something in Wesley’s ear in her god forsaken native tongue. Wesley stilled and quickly jumped off the bed, pulling his jeans on as Faith let her key card fall from between her fingers.

“Faith....”

“It’s midnight, Wesley. Couldn’t you at least have some sense of decency?” she whispered, pushing past him and beginning to shove all her clothes and toiletries into her bags.

“And I told you she had a night planned for us...”

“Yeah, you also said it wasn’t like that, you lying bastard!” she yelled, throwing a shoe at him, causing Wesley to bit his lip.

“It wasn’t supposed to be...”

“Sure sure. You expect me to believe that something like this just happened! How gullible do you think I am!” Faith cursed, finally gathering together the last of her things and stalking out the room, Wesley hot on her heels as she approached the lift to get another room.

“You aren’t! Faith, I asked you to come with me to Rome because I wanted you with me, because I like being with you and would do anything to stay with you. What happened with Allegra means nothing. I swear,” he whispered, blocking her hand from hitting the button for the lift.

“And why should I believe you?”

“Because....You love me...”

“And you think that’s enough to make me forgive something like this!”

“We aren’t a couple though! You said that yourself!”

“No, we aren’t. But I thought you at least respected me enough to be honest....to ignore someone hitting on you because you are content enough to be with just me. But that’s nothing but a stupid wish, isn’t it!”

Wesley was opening his mouth to object when the lift doors opened and Faith threw her bags inside before pressing the button for the lobby, Wesley quickly pushing the doors apart.

“I do respect you.”

“No....you don’t. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to get another room...I’ll see you in the lobby tomorrow at eight before we’re due at the firm. Until then I suggest you go back to your beloved and enjoy her while you still have your extremities,” Faith said calmly, kicking him in the groin so he’d let the doors close.

She bit her lip and let the tears fall as the lift descended to the lobby. She dragged her bags out once the doors opened and walked towards the front desk. She managed to get another room on another floor and added it to the Wolfram and Hart tab, before taking the lift to her new room.

She remembered little of the rest of that night, only of throwing her bags inside and curling up on the bed, sobbing into the depths of Wesley’s shirt and asking herself why she was such an idiot to think that Wesley actually returned her feelings. She slept more than anything and was woken by her wakeup call at six to drown herself in a shower, dress and eat breakfast in one of the restaurants alone. She went to the lobby to wait for Wesley at eight and only led him towards the black limo waiting for them, ignoring Wesley’s attempts to explain.


	10. Rome>LA>Cleveland

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Faith and Wesley's personal relationship issues bleed into their professional relationship, leaving them in a hard place where Faith sees her only way is to distance herself from him and go from Bodyguard of Evil Inc. to mentor.

It was much the same for the rest of the day, letting Wesley try and explain only to get interrupted by Allegra at the worst possible moment, and that only made things worse. She didn’t go in with Wesley like before, just hung around the lobby waiting for him to come out. It didn’t take as long as the day before, and he appeared looking outraged and cursing at Allegra in Italian. It wasn’t until a figure with red, scaly skin and small horns appeared carrying a couple of tablets that she realised why. The demons whose culture surrounded the language of the tablets refused to hand them over to him...which meant Wesley was pissed at not getting his way. And then one of the few demons surrounding the carrier of the tablets pulled out a gun and fired it above his head, causing Faith to instinctively grab Wesley and push him under the nearest table, only following him when she’d pulled her own gun out and shot said Ano-movic demon in the forehead.

It seemed to anger the rest, who pulled out guns to protect the tablets and started shooting at random people in retaliation.

“You’ve just started at massacre, Faith! For crying out loud!” Wesley hissed in her ear.

“Well, excuse me, but I’m here to be your bodyguard and protect you from threats, not interpret the messed up rules of cultures!” she hissed angrily in response, pushing Wesley further under the table as Allegra’s PA dropped to the marble floor beside them, dead.

“See, this is why I could never condone being with someone like you! You always jump in without thinking things through! You don’t see the consequences of your actions despite being supposedly reformed!” Wesley growled irritably as Faith followed one of the demon’s feet with the barrel of her gun.

“I am reformed and now isn’t the time to question that fact, unless you want to be as dead as Mr Armani over there. So shut up,” Faith spat, shooting a couple of bullets into the demon’s ankle when he stopped, causing him to drop on top of the body of the PA.

After that the gun shots got less, like they were running out of bullets or out of guards to protect them, and finally the security of the firm appeared to escort the remaining demons to cells. Faith immerged first, pushing the gun down the back of her jeans before gesturing for Wesley that it was safe for him to come out. Some of the few lackeys from maintenance began to drag the bodies out of the lobby while others cleaned the blood from the marble walls and floors. Wesley followed the few guards escorting the holder of the tablets down to the cells, probably in the hopes of making some agreement that would mean he could have the tablets, leaving Faith to place a call to Angel to let him know what had happened.

He agreed to talk to the head of the firm about taking the tablet even if the owner refused, and said that they should definitely leave as soon as possible, which Faith couldn’t agree with more. Wesley reappeared with tablets wrapped in velvet cradled in his arm and jerked his head in Faith’s direction to follow him out of the lobby. They returned to the hotel and quickly packed in their respective rooms, before catching a cab together to the airport to catch the first flight back to LA. But like on the way there they didn’t talk, and Faith had managed to charm another passenger to change seats with her so she was sitting away from Wesley. He still tried to get her to speak to him via messages on her phone but she ignored them all even as they were circling over LAX.

It wasn’t until they were walking through the terminal and immigration together that all the bad things and lies he had said in Rome came rushing back to her, and on top of that the images of him and Allegra together refused to leave her alone. But it was only when she met Wesley’s gaze that she knew now more than ever that she had been nothing but the pawn he had been searching for. The one person he could use to get whatever he wanted while ripping her heart apart in the progress. It took all her willpower to stop herself from crying as she grabbed her bag from the carousel and began the walk back towards the booking desks, ignoring the sound of Wesley’s beautifully alluring accent calling her name after her, using the tone that she had heard all those times before when he was her Watcher. Somehow through the tears flowing down her cheeks she managed to book a ticket to Cleveland and make her way through security like before, ignoring all the looks of sympathy and concern from those around her as her hand luggage went through the x-ray. She made a beeline straight for the women’s toilets once she was through and locked herself in a cubicle as she let all the tears fall down her face, muffling her sobs as much as humanly possible against the sleeve of her shirt. She rested her head against the wall, only tidying herself up and leaving when she heard her flight was boarding over the PA.

Like on her flights to and from Rome she slept. She just hoped she wouldn’t get kicked out of the one place that felt like home. Once she arrived at the airport and caught a cab to Buffy’s place, which Angel had told her about all those months ago when she was in jail, she paid with a shaking hand and stood on the doorstep, listening to the sound of young voices chanting and yelling inside. Maybe in a way this hadn’t been the best idea. Angel would worry about where she was when she didn’t turn up for work the next day. Still.

She managed to knock with shaking fingers and bit her lip as a familiar blonde face answered it.

“Faith?”

She pressed a small smile on her lips as she met her fellow Slayer’s blue-green eyes.

“Hey, B. Long time no see.”

“Obviously....because last I heard you were either in jail....or dead.”

“Yeah...Can we talk, please?”

The blonde Slayer pressed her lips in a firm line of thought, though it was probably the trace of tears on the brunette’s face that made her give in.

“Sure....come on in.”

Faith pulled her luggage inside and kept her gaze on the ground as Buffy lead the way through the crowd of teenage girls to the kitchen. Faith put her bags in a corner out of the way before hoisting herself up on a stool at the counter.

“So...how’d you get out of jail this time?” Buffy asked, leaning against the counter as Faith picked at her fingernails distractedly.

“Completely legit. Or as legit as being the client of Wolfram and Hart goes.”

“Isn’t that the firm Angel works for?”

“Trust me, if Angel wasn’t the big boss at that firm they wouldn’t have given me a second glance.”

Buffy bit her lip and nodded as she turned to put water in the kettle.

“And what you been doing since then? I’m assuming no one has been killed....?”

“Only injured. I’m not into the killing gig anymore.”

“Reassuring....”

Faith sighed as she looked up at the other slayer before making herself say it.

“I was working for Angel....as his bodyguard.”

Buffy stopped herself in mid action and turned back to look at her.

“But you just said no killing...”

“There’s been no killing. Angel is surprisingly an easy mark to look after....what with the fangs and all.”

“So you’ve been working for Wolfram and Hart for how long...?”

“A month.”

“That’s not long....and you’ve already done a runner.”

“Look, I have a valid reason, ok...”

“I’d love to hear it....”

Faith licked her lips and brushed some hair behind her ear.

“Angel let me go with Wesley to Rome over the weekend....We were supposed to be going to pick up some old tablets to be translated. Only Wesley seemed a bit too eager for me to go with him....I mean I was hired to protect Angel, not him...”

“So what happened?”

“I should have suspected there was something dodgy going on. I spent more of my time just standing outside the office he was having meetings in. I mean I’d spend most of my time with Angel actually in the meetings so that made no sense....But on Saturday night he was very pushy about me being out of our hotel room....”

“Wait, you and Wesley had a hotel room together...?”

“I’ll explain that later. Just for now....focus.”

“Ok...”

“So I go back to the hotel room early....don’t bother knocking or anything...and I walk in on Wesley and his Italian counterpart fucking in bed.”

Her voice started to shake as she relived what had happened; the smell of sex in the air, the sound of groans and curses in a language she didn’t know, clothes scattered all over the floor and the sight of two bodies writhing under the sheets.

“What did you do?” the blonde asked, her voice hushed like she could read the pain on the other’s face.

“I ran. Wesley heard me and came after me in a pair of jeans. He tried to make up excuses....that it meant nothing...that he had been thinking of me. But I knew it was all bull...I spent the night in another suite...and the next morning the firm was under attack. And of course I was supposed to be guarding Wesley so I had no choice. It was then he admitted in not too many words he felt nothing for me, that I was just his play thing...I so badly just wanted to leave him there to die....”

“But you didn’t....because you love him,” Buffy said softly, setting a cup of coffee in front of Faith as she sat beside her.

Faith swallowed a mouthful of scalding liquid and nodded.

“How long have you loved him?”

“Since....he busted me out of jail to help save Angel. I tried to tell myself it was nothing....that with all our history it wouldn’t be possible. I mean, torturing someone doesn’t exactly scream I love you.”

“And I’m guessing Angel knows.”

“He’d been trying to push us together since they got me out....but I got involved with someone else, thinking it was for the best, you know? But then Wesley put the moves on me and I just...I melted.”

“Maybe you need some time away from LA? You can stay here and help me train some new Slayers for a while....might be best if you call Angel and explain though.”

“Thanks, B.”

“Though I still want to hear the whole story about you and Wesley before the disaster in Rome. But for now...I’ll go make up a spare room while you call Angel,” Buffy said softly, handing Faith the phone before picking up her tea and leaving the room.

Faith sighed as she dialled the number for Angel’s extension, waiting as it rang until Harmony cut in, which meant he was either in a meeting or sleeping.

“Wolfram and Hart, Attorneys at Law, Angel’s office, Harmony speaking.”

“Hey, Harmony...It’s Faith...is Angel around? I really need to talk to him.”

“Er...I think the boss is out at the moment. I can take a message though and get him to call you back.”

“Ok...Er...just tell him I called and when he has the time I really need to talk to him. It’s important.”

“Ok, will do.”

Faith replaced the handset and downed the remainder of her coffee, looking up when Buffy appeared to grab her things. As she led the way to Faith’s temporary room, Faith barely heard her as she rambled off the rules, the times for meals and the importance of setting a good example for the others. The blonde set down her things and left her there in what was definitely Dawn’s room, causing the brunette to sigh as she curled up on the teenager’s bed and wished things really hadn’t gone to shit so soon.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Angel didn’t get to call her back until that evening when she was staring at some old strategy books Buffy had given her to fixate on for when she started to train the other Slayers the next day.

“Faith speaking,” she murmured as she looked wide eyed at some move she hadn’t been taught while in the care of the Watcher’s Council but was pretty eager to try out when she next had the chance.

“Where are you? I went to your apartment to try and talk to you but the door man said he hadn’t seen you come in,” Angel’s voice said irritably.

“Yeah, that was what I called about before but Harmony said you were busy or...something.” She sighed, pushing a random piece of paper between the pages she was looking at and slamming the book shut.

“I should probably talk to her about promptness....”

“Yeah, she seems to lack it just a little.”

“So I have a feeling I know why you’re calling....Wesley came in to have a meeting with me this afternoon.”

Faith bit her lip as she stared at the ceiling.

“Did he tell you every gritty detail or just those that didn’t make him seem like a heartless prick?” she made herself ask.

“Probably the latter. Which was why I was hoping you could fill me on the bits he missed out....including where the hell are you?”

“I’m in Cleveland, Ohio.”

“What? Why?”

“Wesley went too far....so I ran....such is my way, I guess. Either way I was calling you to let you know I’m going to be staying here a few weeks to help out B. She seems to think I need the space after I told her what happened, and to be quite honest I don’t disagree with her.”

“...because of Wesley?”

“For the most part....yeah.”

“Well, tell me what he’s done to make you want to be away from LA and work?”

Like before Faith managed to tell Angel what had happened in Rome...only in more detail than when she had been telling Buffy. He was silent most of the time like he knew she needed to get it out of her system and he waited until she stopped wiping the tears away with her sleeve to speak.

“So he has changed then....because he didn’t tell me any of that.”

“I figured as much.”

“Ok, well...I think I need to have another talk with him in the morning....to see what the hell he was thinking.”

“Angel, please don’t. It’s my battle and I should deal with it.”

“True....but he’s my employee and so are you. All of this was done during work so it’s my issue too. However, I’m not going to demand you come back to Wolfram and Hart to slug it out with him and show him he hasn’t won....or broke your heart. If you want to stay in Cleveland a few weeks tops that’s fine, just as long as you do come back to LA when you’ve got yourself back together.”

“I promise I’ll come back. You can’t get rid of me that easily.”

“Ok. I’ll put you on paid leave....as well as your Pas, and get Rex to take over for the moment. You ok with that?”

“Sure...and if there’s any emergency or anything just call me and I’ll be back as fast as possible. Thanks, Angel.”

“No problem...and I’ll let you know how the meeting with Wesley goes.”

“Sure. I’d better go....”

“Yeah...though before I go, there’s something you should probably be made aware of....” There was a hint of hesitation in Angel’s voice that made a frown appear on Faith’s face.

“What....what’s happened?”

“It’s about...Knox....and Fred.”

“Tell me what’s happened!”

“Fred got possessed by the occupant of the sarcophagus that was brought in....Fred as a person has gone and been replaced by a hell goddess.”

“Ohmygod....what have you done with Knox?”

“I....We didn’t do anything. The Goddess Illyria killed him when she thought he was useless to her. I’m so sorry, Faith.”

The details of her former lover’s death sent a chill right through her and Faith nearly dropped the phone in shock. She could barely hear Angel telling her the details of Knox’s funeral...let alone where he was going to be buried or cremated. She was only pulled back to reality when Angel said her name a few times, which made her realise she was practically gasping for air between sobs.

“Thank for letting me know but I’ve really got to go, Angel...” she murmured softly before clicking the phone closed and burying her face in her pillow. As if things couldn’t get any worse.


	11. The infamous word according Wesley

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> From distance to distractions in the form of Dawn and Connor to her Ex-watcher making a surprise appearance, complete with explanation.

She spent the next few days in the room alone. Buffy had only come in once to see why she hadn’t turned up for breakfast but assured her it would be fine if she stayed up there a little longer before she started the training. The feelings of guilt, betrayal and heartache seemed to combine in her chest in an almost suffocating clump, which refused to give her any relief.

She’d ignored all calls from Angel and the few times Wesley had dared to dial her number, deleting his messages without listening to them. In her mind she knew she loved Wesley no matter what he had done, it was like he had been getting his revenge for what she had done to him when in her psychotic phase by toying with her emotions in the process. She spent a while staring at the ceiling and trying to calm down her raw emotions before she did something stupid that would only leave her back at square one.

Fortunately she managed to get a distraction when Dawn came home from Berkley the next week with Connor in tow. She probably though it was time her sister met her boyfriend. Faith just hoped Connor had told his parents and Angel he was leaving town or there was going to be hell to pay. That of course meant she had to move out of Dawn’s room, despite the assurances by the younger girl she could stay, but in all honesty she knew she needed her own space and ended up moving into a hotel in the city, the fee of which was covered by her pay check from Wolfram and Hart pretty easily. But the move from Buffy’s place to the hotel didn’t stop her getting the phone calls from Angel and Wesley, and it got to the point where she would just let them ring, making a promise to herself that once she got out of the pit of despair and didn’t do anything stupid that she would in the least call Angel back.

She spent most of her time watching pay per view and downing room service, mostly alone though there was the odd time where Buffy would come to give her the gossip about what had happened with her and Spike, which she barely paid attention to. Though the night Dawn turned up was more than a little surprising.

She was Connor-less but pushed a small smile on her face as she offered the Slayer a bag filled with cheap junk food. God bless teenagers knowing what a girl needs. She let the younger girl in and expected her to launch into the latest about her and Connor but instead heard silence as she perched herself on the bed and opened a box of candy.

“I’m guessing Buffy told you what happened?” Faith asked softly, downing a mouthful of chardonnay as she leaned back into the assortment of pillows at the head of the bed.

“She did....as did Angel when he called,” she said softly.

“Angel called you? Why?”

“Well....he’s been a bit worried since you refuse to answer his calls...not that I can blame you for not answering, but Angel is the good guy in all of this, Faith, and you know that.”

“I do. But I’m afraid he’ll talk me into talking to Wesley....and after all that’s happened I really can’t see myself doing that anytime soon. I just need my space....to get drunk, get fat and watch hopeless chick flicks that make me cry.”

“Completely understandable. Just remember we’re here for you....Me....Angel....Buffy and Connor.” Dawn smiled, crawling up the bed and cuddling up to the Slayer.

“Wait....Connor? Don’t tell me you told him about me?”

“Only a little....besides from what I can tell, he knew you already....”

“Let me guess, he remembers me?” Faith sighed.

“Yeah....which was kind of strange....he can’t remember why he knows you, he just does.”

“Thank god for small mercies.”

The rest of the night was filled with dialogue from The Proposal, aside from the odd crinkle of packaging and bottles of wine being opened on Faith’s part. Still the teenager began to talk about when she met Connor’s parents the week before and Faith let her, not wanting to rain on her parade, soon submerging into sleep.

When she woke a few hours later with a hangover, Dawn was gone but had left her some croissants and coffee for breakfast as well as a note reminding her she was due to start training the other Slayers that morning. Reluctantly Faith showered, dressed and downed the food and coffee on the way out of the hotel lobby. She managed to walk to Buffy’s place in a matter of minutes, though as she was walking up the street she spotted a cab stopping outside Buffy’s house. She stopped in mid step when she recognised the figure getting out the car.

No. Why hadn’t Angel or someone warned her Wesley was going to be here?

“FAITH!” Wesley’s voice called after her as she began to run back towards the hotel. She could hear the sound of his expensive shoes padding against the pavement as he followed her.  
She finally stopped at a park not far down the street when she knew she wouldn’t be able to lose him. She sunk on to a swing and sighed as she traced trails in the bark under her sneakers.

She heard a creak as Wesley sat in the swing beside her causing her to bite her lip as she kept her gaze on the ground.

“What the hell are you doing here?” she whispered as she felt the rough skin of his palm brushing against her hand, which she quickly shook off.

“Angel had been nagging me to come and apologise for what I said in Rome....which I was going to do on the way back to your place before you made a run for it at the airport,” he said softly, reluctantly letting her hand slip away and resting his hand around the chain on his swing.

“Sure you were....after slagging me off in the middle of a fucking fight when I was supposed to be protecting you and could have just left you there to die. After fucking some Italian bimbo in our room and making me feel like a spare part then feeding me a whole load of bullshit which you obviously didn’t mean. You would have to pick the moment when I realised I meant jack shit to you and ran away crying to want to make it up to me,” she spat angrily.

“I was! Look, I know I said some shitty things to you in Rome....I know I made you feel like you mean nothing to me but I thought you knew me better than that, enough to know when I obviously mean the complete opposite.”

“Oh, sure....because I have a Wyndham-Pryce to English phrase book hidden in my head somewhere!” she said with a sense of sarcasm in her tone.

“Look, I get that you’re pissed but please listen to me, Faith, ok?” He sighed softly, resting his hand on her cheek and directing her gaze back to meet his.

“Fine. The infamous word according Wesley, this should be good.” She sighed, reluctantly meeting his gaze and becoming entranced in his eyes like she had the day before they slept together for the first time.

“I love you....and maybe I haven’t been clear enough about that fact. But after everything we’ve been through, all the bullshit we’ve had to put up with as Slayer and Watcher...and afterwards, I’ve always seen how beautiful, strong and intelligent you are. That didn’t stop when I broke you out of jail to save Angel. That night there were so many times that I just wanted to hold you in my arms as the vulnerable side shone through....and when I was so close to losing you to Orpheus it felt like a piece of my heart was being torn out. I have never been so relieved as when you opened your eyes and beat up Connor,” he said softly, a sincere smile on his face that made her bite her lip shyly.

“You should know me better than to give up so easily Wes,” she whispered.

“I suppose I should. But of one thing I’m certain....now that you’re a free woman....and work with me....I am not going to let you get away so easily. If you want me to, I’ll still train with you and not hold back...but only if you will have me back as your lover again,” he whispered as he brushed her hair behind her ear.

“And what if I just want the lover and not the trainer....would that work too?” she asked slyly, getting up from her swing and sinking on to his lap, his arms automatically wrapping around her waist to keep her closer.

“I’m sure we could work out something there.” He smiled, his hand grazing the skin of her cheek as he brought her lips closer to his and pressed a soft lingering kiss on them. Their gazes remained locked when he pulled back, his arm back around her waist.

“I think I’d prefer just the lover...for the moment. But I have to ask...was it just Angel pushing you to come get me or was anyone else involved?” Faith asked softly as she slid out of his lap, the fingers of one hand lacing with those of the closest hand.

“A few other people were pushing for me to stop being so stupid. But for the moment I say we go to Buffy’s and help her train some Slayers...that sound good to you?” he asked as he let her pull him to his feet.

“Whoa, so you did have an ulterior motive for being here then?” Faith asked teasingly with a grin on her face as they began to walk out of the park back to the street.

“Maybe a small one....Angel suggested I make myself useful if I was going to beg for you to take me back.” Wesley smiled, pressing a kiss to her neck causing a chill to flow up and down Faith’s spine that let her knew that she was home....in the presence of the man she loved with all her being.

“Sounds like a plan....as long as I’m with you.”

Fin.


End file.
